As I sit here and attempt to update my social media, read comments and think about my next post, my 9-year-old is playing Fortnite with his soccer teammates. If you don’t know what Fortnite is, you’ve clearly been living in a fallout shelter for the past year with 0 communication with the outside world. Some… Continue reading Fortnite Humor!
I absolutely love Embassy Suites hotel. Why? 3 reasons: There is a 2 room suite so my husband and I can stay in 1 room while the boys sleep in the front. Unlimited alcohol (As long as you don’t seem belligerent and wear different disguises on your 5th time up to the bar. At least… Continue reading I Lost My S*** at Embassy Suites
Both my sons have the same soccer coach. Given the drama over the past 10 days, how that man isn’t a raging alcoholic is beyond me. I’d drink if I were him but then again, it doesn’t take drama for me to pour a glass of wine. Am I right? Now, this letter isn’t for… Continue reading An Open Letter of Apology to All Youth Coaches
I have no idea why we decided to do this, obviously Carter and I were bored, yesterday morning. I turned the Alexa to French and attempted communication with the 3 words of French I know. Obviously this proved futile as she didn’t understand me, the first go around. Here is the short 3 minute video… Continue reading Hey Alexa!
I don’t know if you’ll be shocked but we had a soccer tournament this week, 40 minutes away. Though I wanted Carter (my 9-year-old) to win, a part of me didn’t want him to advance to the semi-finals which was at 7:30 a.m……on a Sunday….and we had to be there by 6:45 a.m. I didn’t… Continue reading Oh Balls!!
So I’ve been a fan of Orange is the New Black on Netflix, since day 1. It’s well written, the characters are believable and it’s funny and thoughtful as well. Why I had never listened to the book (I don’t have time to read so I use audible for my ridiculously long commute) was beyond… Continue reading 15 Perks of Going to Prison
Soccer parents aren’t suppose to have jobs since soccer games are planned half way across town, at 6PM and on a Friday night. Who needs jobs? Shit! We’re all trust fund babies right? Unfortunately, we need to have these jobs to pay for the thousands of dollars amassed between fees, uniforms and hotels. Tonight, my… Continue reading Ass Drums
Dinner time in my house is something of a cluster and I’m partially to blame. One of the most uncomfortable feelings for me is going to bed hungry. In fact, I’ve never gone to bed hungry because I physically can’t go to sleep hungry. That being said, for me to implement the rule of “this… Continue reading Dining With Divas- A Short Memoir of Eating with my Children
I really didn’t know what to call this post. Obviously you see the title that won- The Special Stank of a Boy. I also toyed with titles such as X Ways to be a Decent Human Being in a Hotel Room as well as, Nothing Is Working and I Want to Suck My Thumb, Again.… Continue reading The Special Stank of a Boy
At 41, my sons deem me old. I don’t feel old and I feel like I’m doing a whole hell of a lot better trying to take care of my skin with my 1,001 SPF and facial creams. I was going to start out saying that old people are weird given my last 2 encounters… Continue reading 2 Odd Fellas’