Customer Service · Family · First World Problems · Kids · Soccer

I Want to Marry This Hotel

If I could marry this hotel I would. If a hotel was a spirit animal, this would be it. I love this hotel so much. But Hot Mess, you haven’t even told us where you are! Oh gosh, sorry! I’m in Bethesda, Maryland at the Canopy Hotel by Hilton. P has a soccer tournament here… Continue reading I Want to Marry This Hotel

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Customer Service · Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Why I’m Picky With Hotels

When I go on trips whether it be business or for pleasure, I want to throat punch anyone that says things like, We’ll barely be in our room. I just need a clean bed to sleep in. WTF? I mean seriously. For the past few years my husband has been the team admin for my… Continue reading Why I’m Picky With Hotels

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Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer · Super Hot Mess

Dad Dances Likes No Ones Watching

Oh the fun we will have during a soccer tournament. My God. We are all up and while I type in the hotel room, my sons and 2 other soccer players are playing Xbox. Shall we get started with the shenanigans? The Walmart I found myself in Wal-Mart again since it’s right next door to… Continue reading Dad Dances Likes No Ones Watching

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Pop Culture · S*** Women Like · Soccer

So Excited for the Royal Wedding!

I’m so excited for the royal wedding I can’t even stand it! Princess Diana When I was 4 and came down for breakfast, my mom had the little tiny 4″ black and white tv on at the table. When I peered in, I saw a woman in a big white gown. “Who’s that?” I asked.… Continue reading So Excited for the Royal Wedding!

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Soccer

Parents Behaving Badly Part 3

Do you ever go through a holiday and someone completely takes you by surprise and gives you the most amazing gift on Earth? That was my Mother’s Day Weekend. Sure, I had to be up on Mother’s day at the ass crack of dawn for a soccer game, but the day before gave us what… Continue reading Parents Behaving Badly Part 3

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Ridiculousness · Soccer · Work

My Brain and Miscellaneous

Born This Way Today at work, a co-worker was having an extremely rough day….nay….a week. I told him to drink a lot of alcohol this evening. Obviously the cure for all. “I can’t, I only have 1 kidney,” he said. “Aww, you donated?” I responded. “No, just born that way.” I thought for a second… Continue reading My Brain and Miscellaneous

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer · Super Hot Mess

When (hot mess) Sisters Get Bored

This weekend was yet again another out of city (actually out-of-state) soccer game. We drove a little over 2 hours to Pittsburgh for P, my 13-year-old, to play 2 games. Why couldn’t we have soccer games/tournaments in Florida, California or Hawaii? You’d hear no complaints from me. Sure, I would have to rob a bank… Continue reading When (hot mess) Sisters Get Bored

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Weekend Round Up

I feel as if I’ve lived 4 days all in this Sunday. We had a soccer tournament in Cincinnati this weekend and like clock work, our Sunday game began at 7 f’ing 30! 7:30! On a Sunday!! Of course I did the responsible thing and showered around 7:30 pm the night before and in bed… Continue reading Weekend Round Up

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Kids · Parenting · Rants · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Mother Nature is a Real A** Hole Today

I’m really trying to have a positive attitude here about coming back to Ohio from California but Mother Nature is being a real ass hole. We have 2 soccer games today. One at 2:30 then at 6. So we will be spending the majority of our time outside today. Unfortunately, I’ll be wearing my rain… Continue reading Mother Nature is a Real A** Hole Today

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Rants · Ridiculousness · Soccer

How I Fail as a Soccer Mom

It is no secret that the day I drive a mini van is the day I give you carte blanche to shoot me. Before I even had children, I made a vow that I would never, ever, ever drive a mini van. I don’t care if during soccer tournaments we car pool with another soccer… Continue reading How I Fail as a Soccer Mom

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