Fall · Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Oh Balls!!

I don’t know if you’ll be shocked but we had a soccer tournament this week, 40 minutes away. Though I wanted Carter (my 9-year-old) to win, a part of me didn’t want him to advance to the semi-finals which was at 7:30 a.m……on a Sunday….and we had to be there by 6:45 a.m. I didn’t… Continue reading Oh Balls!!

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Fall · Family · Rants · Ridiculousness · Soccer

I Hate Cooking

Look, I’m just going to be real with you guys, I don’t find any pleasure in cooking. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been excited to make something. Cooking to me is a chore and whoever coined the phrase, “a woman’s place is in the kitchen,” should go down in… Continue reading I Hate Cooking

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Parenting · Rants · Soccer

Ass Drums

Soccer parents aren’t suppose to have jobs since soccer games are planned half way across town, at 6PM and on a Friday night. Who needs jobs? Shit! We’re all trust fund babies right? Unfortunately, we need to have these jobs to pay for the thousands of dollars amassed between fees, uniforms and hotels. Tonight, my… Continue reading Ass Drums

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

The Special Stank of a Boy

I really didn’t know what to call this post. Obviously you see the title that won- The Special Stank of a Boy. I also toyed with titles such as X Ways to be a Decent Human Being in a Hotel Room as well as, Nothing Is Working and I Want to Suck My Thumb, Again.… Continue reading The Special Stank of a Boy

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Soccer

Just a Hot Mess Wednesday Night

Yesterday evening I agreed to stay with my 2 sons at an evening soccer camp from 6:30 to 8:30. Chris would drop them off and I would drive straight over from work. I had my laptop with me and was prepared to whip out a post and attend to some blog maintenance. It would be… Continue reading Just a Hot Mess Wednesday Night

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Customer Service · Family · First World Problems · Kids · Soccer

I Want to Marry This Hotel

If I could marry this hotel I would. If a hotel was a spirit animal, this would be it. I love this hotel so much. But Hot Mess, you haven’t even told us where you are! Oh gosh, sorry! I’m in Bethesda, Maryland at the Canopy Hotel by Hilton. P has a soccer tournament here… Continue reading I Want to Marry This Hotel

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Customer Service · Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Why I’m Picky With Hotels

When I go on trips whether it be business or for pleasure, I want to throat punch anyone that says things like, We’ll barely be in our room. I just need a clean bed to sleep in. WTF? I mean seriously. For the past few years my husband has been the team admin for my… Continue reading Why I’m Picky With Hotels

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Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer · Super Hot Mess

Dad Dances Likes No Ones Watching

Oh the fun we will have during a soccer tournament. My God. We are all up and while I type in the hotel room, my sons and 2 other soccer players are playing Xbox. Shall we get started with the shenanigans? The Walmart I found myself in Wal-Mart again since it’s right next door to… Continue reading Dad Dances Likes No Ones Watching

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Pop Culture · S*** Women Like · Soccer

So Excited for the Royal Wedding!

I’m so excited for the royal wedding I can’t even stand it! Princess Diana When I was 4 and came down for breakfast, my mom had the little tiny 4″ black and white tv on at the table. When I peered in, I saw a woman in a big white gown. “Who’s that?” I asked.… Continue reading So Excited for the Royal Wedding!

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Soccer

Parents Behaving Badly Part 3

Do you ever go through a holiday and someone completely takes you by surprise and gives you the most amazing gift on Earth? That was my Mother’s Day Weekend. Sure, I had to be up on Mother’s day at the ass crack of dawn for a soccer game, but the day before gave us what… Continue reading Parents Behaving Badly Part 3

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