Ok, so I really lucked out to work at a place that is on par with my sense of humor. Now that a co-worker has left, my boss is stuck finding someone that will not only fit in with us but won’t go running to HR because of what we say. None of us are willing to dial it down a notch so I half jokingly mentioned I would create a test for her to present to candidates. Then I got serious and decided to create one last night. Now, keep in mind everything below is on here because these have been topics at one point or another. Do you see why this test is necessary? I passed it out today (including to my boss) and had tears of laughter pouring from everyone which makes all of this totally worth it! Enjoy!!!!
STAFFORD-BRIGGS PERSONALITY TEST
In an effort to assess who you are and what motivates you, we have partnered with the Stafford-Briggs Institute to develop this scientific test. Please answer honestly. You’ll have approximately 15 minutes to complete. Fill out all answers with a #2 pencil.
Please check all that apply
I have the following bumper stickers:
- I’m With Her
- Make America Great Again
- Sanders 2016
- 1+ Stick Figures
- No Bumper Stickers
- I only ride a bike as it reduces my carbon footprint
I drink the following each week: a. 15+ b. 7-9 c. 4-6 d. 1-3 e. I don’t, that’s the devil’s drink
When I’m angry I am most likely to ___________.
- Punch someone or something
- Braid someone’s hair
- Attend a protest
- Do nothing, I am an empty shell
Please circle all words and/or phrases that are offensive:
- Goddamn It
- Ass hole
- What the fuck?
- Nothing offends
From the list above, which word(s) are you ok with being called as a term of endearment? Please select up to 3 and order them:
1._______________ 2. _______________ 3. _________________
If you could watch any of these movies, which one would you select:
- Manchester by the Sea
- Michael Moore Documentaries
- The English Patient
- God’s Not Dead
On Sunday at 11, I can be found (circle all that apply):
- At church
- Drinking mimosas
- In a stranger’s bed
- Hung over
- At a protest
The best color to wear to work is:
Please read the following sentence to answer the next question:
Hearing my co-worker say she won’t watch a giraffe be born but will watch a woman fuck a horse, leaves me ______________.
- Mentally abused
- Running to HR
- Conducting a silent exorcism
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being 100%, how comfortable are you with the following topics:
- Sex Toys
Thank you! Sometimes I can’t even believe it. We were talking today how it’s like we are all home!
I can really see how you could get a sense of who the candidate is by having them take this test! Brilliant!!
They are loving it!! I had so much fun creating it! Thank you!
LOL If I answer and lie on all the questions (mostly because I’m cupcakes and rainbows and unicorns and you know that I would lie on something like this just to appear like I’m not) can I come work with you? hehe
Yes, only if you lie! I mean, the comments come hard and fast. We manage to turn the word cotton ball into something inappropriate. Nothing is off the table!
Lol thats fine! Im used to it. Ill just say ya’ll need some Jesus and laugh right along with you
We can live with that!
You and your quizzes!!!! ?
It’s really a great way to find what you’re looking for and to allow the candidate to get a sense a sense of what they are getting into! 🙂
I’ll bet lol!
I should come work with you—I’m already pretty comfortable being called “What the Fuck?” (At least, that’s what comes before my name more often than not)
You would love it. Absolutely love it. The things that are discussed….Omg….
I mean, I think this is a totally appropriate way to gauge someone’s effectiveness in your office. PS If you’re wondering, I definitely would be a great fit. 😉
U would love it! I really think we need our own reality show. We are the most politically incorrect bunch on Earth!
I would definitely watch it!!
My answer to the last question: Midgets. But only if they are wearing tattoos.
Bwahhh a tatted up midget! Love it!!!!
Magnificent. Ought to be mandatory everywhere!
Thank you! I totally wish we could give these tests before sitting with someone. This is the exact reason at work I chose what I like to call the “fun-size” cubicle. It’s super small but it’s more private b/c it has powdered glass walls around it as opposed to an open work area.