I Created A Candidate Test Since Our Office Is Inappropriate!

Candidate Test

Ok, so I really lucked out to work at a place that is on par with my sense of humor. Now that a co-worker has left, my boss is stuck finding someone that will not only fit in with us but won’t go running to HR because of what we say. None of us are willing to dial it down a notch so I half jokingly mentioned I would create a test for her to present to candidates. Then I got serious and decided to create one last night. Now, keep in mind everything below is on here because these have been topics at one point or another. Do you see why this test is necessary? I passed it out today (including to my boss) and had tears of laughter pouring from everyone which makes all of this totally worth it! Enjoy!!!!

Stafford Briggs Test


In an effort to assess who you are and what motivates you, we have partnered with the Stafford-Briggs Institute to develop this scientific test. Please answer honestly. You’ll have approximately 15 minutes to complete. Fill out all answers with a #2 pencil.

Please check all that apply

I have the following bumper stickers:

  • I’m With Her
  • Make America Great Again
  • Sanders 2016
  • 1+ Stick Figures
  • CoExist
  • No Bumper Stickers
  • I only ride a bike as it reduces my carbon footprint

I drink the following each week: a. 15+     b. 7-9     c. 4-6     d. 1-3     e. I don’t, that’s the devil’s drink

When I’m angry I am most likely to ___________.

  1. Drink
  2. Exercise
  3. Punch someone or something
  4. Cry
  5. Scream
  6. Braid someone’s hair
  7. Attend a protest
  8. Do nothing, I am an empty shell

Please circle all words and/or phrases that are offensive:

  • Fuck
  • Shit
  • Goddamn It
  • Cocksucker(s)
  • Ass hole
  • Dick
  • What the fuck?
  • Bitch
  • Pussy
  • Nothing offends

From the list above, which word(s) are you ok with being called as a term of endearment? Please select up to 3 and order them:

1._______________   2. _______________   3. _________________

If you could watch any of these movies, which one would you select:

  1. Bridesmaids
  2. Manchester by the Sea
  3. Michael Moore Documentaries
  4. Clueless
  5. The English Patient
  6. God’s Not Dead

On Sunday at 11, I can be found (circle all that apply):

  1. Sleeping
  2. At church
  3. Drinking mimosas
  4. In a stranger’s bed
  5. Hung over
  6. Exercising
  7. At a protest

The best color to wear to work is:

  1. Yellow
  2. Purple
  3. Paisley
  4. Black

Please read the following sentence to answer the next question:

Hearing my co-worker say she won’t watch a giraffe be born but will watch a woman fuck a horse, leaves me ______________.

  1. Laughing
  2. Mentally abused
  3. Running to HR
  4. Conducting a silent exorcism

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being 100%, how comfortable are you with the following topics:

  • Alcohol
  • Drugs
  • Sex
  • Sex Toys
  • Bestiality
  • Midgets
  • Tattoos






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