Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

What the F*** is Supreme Clothing?

Folks, we have an issue. Like a church on a Sunday morning, where the faithful have their arms raised up praising God, my son has pledged his devotion to the fashion gods. We’re fucked. Gone are the days I could glide into Payless Shoes, slap down $10 bucks and walk out with a pair of… Continue reading What the F*** is Supreme Clothing?

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Elf on the Shelf · Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness

F*** It, I’m Giving Myself Props

Let me first say, I feel like a failure ALL-THE-TIME. I feel like I’m never doing well enough as a parent or a wife. I feel like I suck financially and have a life style on par with Mama June. So when I drove home today on my 50 minute commute, with ample time to… Continue reading F*** It, I’m Giving Myself Props

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Customer Service · Family · First World Problems · Holiday · Parenting · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Who Buys Someone a Car for Christmas?

Seriously I want to ask you guys this. Have any of you ever received a brand new (not used) luxury car with a gigantic red bow on top? No? Me neither. So how is it without fail, Lexus, Infiniti and BMW, feature commercials of Stepford families jumping up and down in excitement, in front of their… Continue reading Who Buys Someone a Car for Christmas?

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Customer Service · Holiday · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

Groupon Has Sex Toys Now

Not gonna lie you guys, I’m very confused about tonight’s topic of Groupon’s newest addition. It’s been a long time since I’ve looked at something and can’t figure it out. I think the last time I was this confused was when I wrote about THINX. Purposely, I’m trying to figure out what the hell it… Continue reading Groupon Has Sex Toys Now

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Elf on the Shelf · Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting

Elf on the Shelf- Night 3

I’ve posted night 1 and night 2 of the Elf on the Shelf, adult version. I hope you’ve gotten a little chuckle. Night 3 This elf can be found in his elf bed, late at night under the covers. Along with candy cane scented lube, this elf is checking out Santa’s nudie magazines Mrs. Clause… Continue reading Elf on the Shelf- Night 3

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Holiday · Ridiculousness

Crafting With Hot Mess

My friend NC and I had planned a Cricut day for 2 weeks. What’s a Cricut? It’s the machine I was obsessed with this spring, realized how much time it took and for the past 6 months it has collected dust in my front room. You can read the link I posted above about my… Continue reading Crafting With Hot Mess

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Elf on the Shelf · Family · Holiday · Super Hot Mess

Elf on the Shelf- Night 2

This elf began smoking at 12. After a ridiculously long day in the sweat shop…..ahem…toy shop….he would steal away with several other elves behind the sleigh barn to have a smoke. After 2 decades of smoking Red Marlboro Mediums, he developed a cough that was deemed too disruptive to all the other elves and placed… Continue reading Elf on the Shelf- Night 2

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Customer Service · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Rants

Apple Store Nightmare

As I mentioned a post earlier, I got my blessed new Galaxy Note 8 and I LOVE IT! Unfortunately when upgrading, we came to realize my son’s phone (which I was bestowing on my youngest), had a cracked screen. Not because the screen protector failed but because he didn’t keep a case on it. I… Continue reading Apple Store Nightmare

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Elf on the Shelf · Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture

Elf on the Shelf-Night 1

And so it begins, I have to move that f’ing elf on the shelf every God damn day for the next month. And not just move it to the mantle, then to the tree, then onto the island. Nope, I have to create “scenes” with his felt ass because of over achieving mothers who obviously… Continue reading Elf on the Shelf-Night 1

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First World Problems · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture

The Deals I Got On Black Friday

When I ask most Americans if they’ll be shopping on Black Friday, I get a “hell no” as a response. Yet when I go out, there are lines formed all around the huge Best Buy (that’s the leader in electronics here in the states) store. There are even a few tents as people have been… Continue reading The Deals I Got On Black Friday

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