Fall · Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness

The F’ing Water Park

My oldest turns 12 next week. In January he went with his BFF to Kalahari Water Park to celebrate his birthday. Upon return, P exclaimed he didn’t want a party this year but an overnight at the water park for his birthday. Eureka! No more designing the perfect invitation, securing the venue, buying the decorations,… Continue reading The F’ing Water Park

Family · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Follow Up: My Interview To Be On The Gordon Ramsay Show

If you haven’t read it yet and you want the back story of how I got myself into this debacle, read here: My Call From The Gordon Ramsay Show So like everything that makes me uncomfortable, I put off returning the phone call of a producer of the Gordon Ramsay show. Last night, my family and… Continue reading Follow Up: My Interview To Be On The Gordon Ramsay Show

Getting to Know You · Politics · Pop Culture · Presidential Election · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess · Work

I Created A Candidate Test Since Our Office Is Inappropriate!

Ok, so I really lucked out to work at a place that is on par with my sense of humor. Now that a co-worker has left, my boss is stuck finding someone that will not only fit in with us but won’t go running to HR because of what we say. None of us are… Continue reading I Created A Candidate Test Since Our Office Is Inappropriate!

Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Fire Side Chat With Hot Mess

Hello hot messes! How are you? I’m on glass #1, sitting by the fireplace in a red velvet jacket smoking a pipe. JK, I’m in my sexy, flannel pants with my soccer shirt, hair up and makeup off. I am like an Amish sex pot at this point. Chichi the Chihuahua lays at my feet,… Continue reading Fire Side Chat With Hot Mess

Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

My Call From The Gordon Ramsay Show

I am like a Goddamn gremlin. What is my problem? I should not have wine and Facebook after 11 as I have proven time and time again I can’t handle it. It’s like I have an alter ego and when I wake up the next morning, I need to check all forms of social media… Continue reading My Call From The Gordon Ramsay Show

Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

Choose My Fake Tattoo For My April Fools Prank!!!!

Ok folks, you get to make the most important decision of my life for 2017: WHICH FAUX TATTOO AM I BUYING? For those of you that haven’t heard, I am pranking the shit out of my sons on April Fools Day. You can read about the initial planning stages here: Operation Prank My Sons 2017. My… Continue reading Choose My Fake Tattoo For My April Fools Prank!!!!

Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

Operation Prank My Sons 2017

When the idea came to me I was so giddy I could practically spit glitter. That was 8 hours ago. Now the ideas are flowing like water and this prank has taken on a life of it’s own. I almost can’t stand it. My co-worker just turned 40. I turn 40 and I get drunk… Continue reading Operation Prank My Sons 2017

Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

Squatty Potty & Drunk Facebooking

On my youngest son’s soccer team, there are 3 moms I have really come to enjoy their company. You can read more about our soccer bonding experience here. All 3 drink like a fish, have a toned down version of my sick sense of humor and have the same maturity level as me, 8. Not saying… Continue reading Squatty Potty & Drunk Facebooking

Ridiculousness

I’ve Been Sick But I’m Back Bitches!

I feel like I haven’t posted in forever. I’ve been sick. Not like a man cold where I feel like I’m on my death bed but a hard core cold. I was borderline snorting Airborne while repeating the mantra, “I will not get sick. I can’t get sick. I will not get sick. I can’t… Continue reading I’ve Been Sick But I’m Back Bitches!

Family · First World Problems · Pop Culture · Rants · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

Wedding Registry- The Biggest Farce On Earth

The day I got engaged to my husband was the day I began dreaming of registering for my wedding. I couldn’t wait to hit stores like Bed Bath and Beyond and Macy’s to register for my fine china, informal china, cutlery and everything in between. I had this fairy tale idea in my head that… Continue reading Wedding Registry- The Biggest Farce On Earth