I Want You To Lick My Face!

lick my face

So what do you guys think about this coronavirus? When I first heard about it, I was like “well this is going to be either really good or really bad publicity for Corona beer.” I’ve heard that Corona beer is urging the powers that be to call it by the abbreviation, COVID-19. So apparently, it’s not so great for them.

When I heard you’re quarantined for two weeks, I decided to look on YouTube about the conditions. I found one out in California and it looked to be a hotel. The only difference is the entire perimeter now has a fence and they said there are U.S. Marshalls guarding the property to ensure folks don’t go stir crazy and leave. But they have planned activities, snacks everywhere and can even walk around outside. That’s when I had an idea and sent the following text to my nurse friend:

lick my faceIf there are any busy, working, moms or dads out there, you can totally understand my rationale:

  • 2-weeks of alone time
  • No work
  • Someone makes your food
  • Someone is ALWAYS cleaning up after you to keep things sterile

I know my logic is a bit dark but what am I missing here peoples? I once wrote a piece of why prison doesn’t sound all that bad either. And for future moms and dads out there, I don’t want to discourage you from having children, because kids are pretty amazing. I just want you to understand, this is the length we go to for alone time: a deadly virus or prison.

So if any of you reading this are currently suffering from the coronavirus, please send me your used tissue because I’m down for a two-week vacation.

 

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