Pop Culture · Summer · Super Hot Mess

Purple Teeth Club

Apparently while on vacation, I fell asleep on the sofa in my bathing suit. My husband and his friend thought it would be funny to take a picture of me asleep. It was NOT a glamour shot by any stretch. My teeth and lips were purple and I had my mouth cocked up. It was… Continue reading Purple Teeth Club

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Family · Holiday · Kids · Parenting

Father’s Day Gift Ideas For Crappy Fathers

Allow me to be clear, my father was not a dead beat dad. He worked 70 hours a week. This post is for all the people with shitty-ass fathers or meh dads where getting them a Father’s day gift is about as high on your list as having your tonsils removed. So gentle readers, I’ve… Continue reading Father’s Day Gift Ideas For Crappy Fathers

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Getting to Know You · Health · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness

How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating

How much does poor communication cause issues in your life? Can you count on one hand or need 500 hands to count the number of times you’ve waited and waited for an answer, only to never get it or get what you deem the wrong one? How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating Don’t… Continue reading How to be a Decent Human Being- Communicating

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First World Problems · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Summer

Do People Live in Florida?

My oldest had me laughing on one of our first days in Florida at the supermarket. He’s like, “let’s be real, does anyone really live in Florida all year?” “No, I don’t think so.” It’s so f’ing hot here! I mean, my God how do people survive in any other month other than December in… Continue reading Do People Live in Florida?

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Summer

5 Ways to be a Decent Human Being When Sharing a Vacation House

We are currently sharing a house with our friends and their 2 sons who are both under the age of 10. I honestly believe you need to understand how a family lives before spending an entire week under the same roof. We hit the jack pot with regards to a great family to share a… Continue reading 5 Ways to be a Decent Human Being When Sharing a Vacation House

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Kids · Parenting · Summer

Florida, Just Like Jurassic Park

As I sit in our vacation home, someone already had Say Yes to the Dress on the tv. I promised myself I wouldn’t watch shit like this but it’s sucking me in. How does one buy a dress for $8,000? My dress was from a Lazarus department store’s wedding shop that was going out of… Continue reading Florida, Just Like Jurassic Park

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Ridiculousness · Summer · Super Hot Mess

Being Outdoors, Not For Me

Though I’d love to see what society looked like 300 years ago, I think I was born in an adequate time. Why? Because we have air conditioning, heated water and luxuries one could not even imagine 300 years ago. Because I’ve become accustom to this, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like: To… Continue reading Being Outdoors, Not For Me

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Ridiculousness · Summer · Super Hot Mess

Drunk on a Plane

Not me peoples! Jesus, it’s only 10:14 a.m. I’m not an alcoholic. As we made it through the plane we were exiled to the back or what I like to call, the waiting room for the toilet. As people filed in behind us I cringed, wondering who would be my seatmate. I have a very… Continue reading Drunk on a Plane

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Customer Service · Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer

Why I’m Picky With Hotels

When I go on trips whether it be business or for pleasure, I want to throat punch anyone that says things like, We’ll barely be in our room. I just need a clean bed to sleep in. WTF? I mean seriously. For the past few years my husband has been the team admin for my… Continue reading Why I’m Picky With Hotels

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Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer · Super Hot Mess

Dad Dances Likes No Ones Watching

Oh the fun we will have during a soccer tournament. My God. We are all up and while I type in the hotel room, my sons and 2 other soccer players are playing Xbox. Shall we get started with the shenanigans? The Walmart I found myself in Wal-Mart again since it’s right next door to… Continue reading Dad Dances Likes No Ones Watching

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