Two weeks ago, I wrote about why January is the armpit of the year, because it is. I hate January and it’s my least favorite month, followed by February. Yesterday, as I was finally shaving my sasquatch-like legs, I realized that there are some positives to winter. Sure, if God came down and said I could pick a season to live in for the rest of my life, I can guarantee you winter would be #4 on the list but I’m trying really hard to find the positives. Read on and maybe you’ll appreciate the Antartica-like landscape along with me.
Legs, armpits, bikini area and for guys to some extent, facial hair. You don’t have to shave that shit as often. And trust me, I’ll go as long as I can. Sure the act of shaving takes like 5 minutes but……ok, I got nothin’. Blame it on laziness.
You can stay indoors and not feel guilty. If it’s a warm sunny day, everyone and their grandma’s will guilt you into doing everything outside. Eating, sleeping, sex…..all outside.
Toenail Painting (guys, feel free to skip this one)
I don’t have the patience to wait for my fingernails to dry so if you ever see my nails painted, just assume the queen is visiting. I do however paint my toenails religiously in the summer as to not look like I have talons hanging off my toes. Like I’m about to swoop down on an innocent bunny and have it for dinner. And trust me when I’m hangry, I’m not above this.
Bees are the absolute worst. Especially those sweat bees because I’ve never been stung by one and the anticipation is probably worst then the sting. I’ve heard from some they really hurt and from others, they don’t.
While many are at a point of trying to lose weight right now, myself included, winter garments are much more forgiving. Have a muffin top? Simply place a shirt then a sweater over it, done. Have a pooch? Nothing a sweatshirt can’t cover. In the summer, all we have disguising this extra weight is either a t-shirt or a tank.
In my mid-twenties, I knew I’d be albino pretty much for the rest of my life and stopped trying to tan. But in the winter, the pale comments are less. In the summer, I always make a joke sitting at the sidelines of a soccer game as I slather on my SPF 162- “This vampire tan isn’t going to keep itself!”
This may be the #1 best thing about winter as I have a severe phobia of snakes. In the spring, summer and fall, every place could be hiding what I refer to as the devil animal. In the winter, I can actually go out on my yard without having a panic attack. No I’m serious. In order to walk to the end of my yard in the summer takes either having the grass just cut an hour before along with my sons surveying the land like their trying to find a missing teen to ensure there are no snakes.
Why does everyone frown on hot coffee in July? Look, if you have a caffeine addiction you don’t care if it’s cold, room temp or hot just get the coffee in my mouth.
At the Starbucks drive-thru….
Me: Yeah, I’ll take a grande vanilla latte, skim-milk.
Barista: Do you want that hot or cold?
Friend: Hot coffee? Ewwwwww (curls upper lip in disgust). I could never do that in the summer.
I love flipping on our fireplace and watching tv. The ambiance of a fire relaxes me and makes the living room that much cozier. If I turn on the Fireplace in June (while the A/C is running I might add), suddenly I’m wasteful.
As I mentioned, I have a snake phobia so it brings me great joy to not have to worry about running into one of those little ass holes while planting or watering anything. Sure, even in the summer I keep the landscape minimal (I can’t bring myself to spending a bunch of money on something that isn’t going to be around in 3 months) but it’s nice to not have to worry about watering something every day or weeding ever week.
So guys, did I cover them? What do you appreciate about winter? Maybe winter is your favorite season?