Today Is My Birthday!


Today is my birthday all! Hot Mess turns 42! I’d like to think I don’t look old but maybe I do? I feel like aging is like carrying all the clothing you just folded to everyone’s bedroom. You’re hell-bent on not dropping any because you only want to make 1 trip to each of their rooms. But, like getting older, no matter what you do, the damn pair of rolled up socks falls off. Every year is a piece of folded laundry. Am I literally the most interesting woman on Earth right now? Let’s move on.

I’m Sooo Mature (que snotty, valley girl voice)

I do feel that at the age of 42, I’ve made some mature (boring) decisions this year. Suck as they might, you wouldn’t have caught me doing any of these 5 years ago. Perhaps I’ve hit puberty or something. A few notable things:

  • Instead of a “fun” present, I asked for tires on Mother’s Day.
  • I actually got my mammogram on time and didn’t make up my normal excuses such as having to cancel due to washing my hamster’s hair that day.
  • Instead of waiting till my car is about to explode, I proactively add oil and coolant to it.
  • Though I still appreciate looking nice, I no longer follow trends, pouring over fashion magazines then spending all my pay on clothing. It’s amazing how much money you have left over when you aren’t chasing the trends.
  • I found a side hustle this Christmas and worked hard at it so I wasn’t in the negative by this time.
  • Started exercising consistently.

Not So Mature Behaviors

Below is a brief (brief because the total list would be a 15 page dissertation) of shit I still need to grow up on:

  • Pay my taxes on time.
  • Still treating bill notices as if the collectors laced it with ricen.
  • Actually perform consistent home maintenance in lieu of every cleaning I’ve done, announcing “this is the first time I’ve cleaned this since we’ve moved in 15 years ago!”

Anyway, tonight my husband and I are going out to dinner, sans kids, then on Saturday (we don’t have just birth”days” around here. We have birthday weekends!), him, my sons, sister, her boyfriend and anyone that wants to join us are going to see Holmes and Watson. I love Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly together. I really, really want you guys to check out the trailer!


bottoms up cheers GIF



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