As you may or may not have read, I joined Weight Watchers a few nights ago and today I started eating like I’m on a diet.
While eating lunch, I decided to log onto Weight Watchers and see how many points I’d be allowed for the day and enter my current caloric intake. I was allowed a combined total of 23. Here’s what I typed in along with the corresponding point value:
- Torani vanilla flavoring 4
- 10 ounces of 2% milk 7
- Espresso 0
- Granola bar 4
- Carrots 0
- Eating Well chicken strauganoff 6
“2 points left?” I announced to no one particular. “But I barely ate anything.”
I had visions of my dinner this evening consisting of 1 baby carrot, 1 spinach leaf with a squirt of lemon and a shot glass of wine. Even that would probably be 4-5 stupid points.
I do not, under any circumstance handle hunger well. In my starved state today I had an epiphany of why so-called appetite suppressants don’t work and what would make them work. The minute they come out with an appetite suppressant that taste like the following, they will be richer than Bill Gates:
- mashed potatoes
- french fries
I’d like to think I’m resourceful so I came up with a plan B to achieve more points, I’d exercise. I typed in 20 minutes of intense aerobics. This garnered 5 points. Not enough for the damage I wanted to do to my dinner plate tonight.
Basically, I would have to chalk today up as a learning experience.
Normally my husband texts me when I’m half way home, asking what he can start for dinner. I take my sweet time responding. Tonight was different as I was prepared to eat a squirrel if it crossed my path. I wasn’t even out of the parking lot when I sent him the following text:
This was an open/shut case. He had worked from home today and there was no reason on Earth my supper shouldn’t be on the table….bitch….sorry. Anyway, when I pulled into my drive, I didn’t walk to my door, I ran. I imagined the rich garlic smell of the ravioli and the garlic bread hitting my nose as I flung open the door.
Instead, my ears were hit with a deep, roaring snore. He was taking a nap! He hadn’t gotten my text and NOTHING was made. I didn’t even recognize the state I was in.
‘Make the food, don’t talk to anyone, put the food in my mouth,’ was my mantra for the next 20 minutes.
When we sat down to dinner, I didn’t just eat, I fed. I fed like a vulture claiming her prey. I shit you not, we downed 2 large bags of tortellini, ravioli and 4 slices of Texas Toast within 5 minutes. I sat there in a state of bliss. Sure, I had probably just blown the remainder of this week’s points and all of next weeks, but the hunger was gone. Yes, this was definitely a learning experience.
I’m drinking wine because I was almost chattered to death by my children this evening. I began writing this post 2 hours ago but eventually slammed the laptop closed as I couldn’t get 1 fucking sentence out without being interrupted. I was so annoyed.
Tomorrow I pledge I will…..
- I will drink tea instead of my latte or cut my latte in half
- I will continue to eat one of my Eating Well meals
- I will do 20 minutes of Insanity
- I will only drink a 4 ounce….ok a 6 ounce glass of wine
Fetus steps people….fetus steps…….