Failing at House Cleaning and Halloween


As I look around my house, I’m reminded of episodes of Hoarders. A tumbleweed drifts by, aka Chichi’s fur. Additional reasons my house looks like a hoarders’ paradise?

  • A smelly shin guard and water bottle sit on the kitchen table we eat food off of.
  • A pot my mother-in-law cooked us a meal in 2 weeks ago, still sits on the stove. It’s clean, I just don’t know if it’s our pot or hers.
  • All 3 toilet’s now have rings in them. I don’t even want to know the number of pubes and piss spots on the bottom of the seat.
  • A mumkin my sister bought off my son 6 weeks ago, still sits in its plastic in our front, weedy, mulch area.

We have been to no less than 4 soccer games each weekend, some hours away. This weekend we have 3 games (one is 1.5 hrs away in Dayton) and trick-or-treat. I’m not factoring in the Buckeye game as many of you know I detest sports and have the same understanding of them as I do the Russian language.

Next weekend, we will be in Michigan for soccer. My sons have needed haircuts and Halloween costumes forever. This has proved difficult considering we’ve had soccer practice every night during the work week (except for 1 night), not putting us home as a family till about 7. Then I have to make lunches (because my children refuse to buy….EVER!), help with homework if needed and do the bare minimum such as fold a load of laundry, take out the trash or unload the dishwasher.

Failing at Halloween Too

I haven’t even gotten pumpkins yet! Do you hear me? No pumpkins! I feel like one of those parents that is doing their first round of Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. And by the way, if I’m even this late with Christmas, you best believe that f’ing Elf on the Shelf isn’t coming out at the same early time. If anything, I’ll have his mouth duct taped shut, in the laundry room, hanging next to my bag of Bananagrams. Too much? I don’t think so. But that’s for another time.

So alas, I don’t have enough candy for Halloween, trick-or-treat is in 48 hours, we haven’t even bought pumpkins and my house is trashed. I just needed to rant. Thank you for listening. How are you guys doing? Please do not respond if you are ahead of the game and have a clean home. Communication then is neither encouraged or welcomed.


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