I’m so fucking annoyed right now. I have nats crawling on my monitor while a fly taunts me around my head.
“Not today Satan!” I scream as I clap my hands together and catch the nat.
I’m drinking wine, I’ve got a blog and I’m not afraid to use it. It’s 9:30 p.m. and this is the first chance I’ve had to myself since 6 a.m.
So here’s the deal….
My 12-year-old P, has had pain in his right foot since Tuesday. I promised we’d visit the doctor tomorrow but we are going to Craft Brew at the Zoo and my Pediatrician had availability at 6:30 this evening.
“What did you do to it?” I asked while slamming on the breaks at yet again another stop light.
“Something had to of happened,” I argued.
“I have no idea how I hurt it.”
Indecisive people and people who don’t take 5 minutes to ponder things like this annoy me to no end. My son is not immune. I want to be like, “think damn it!”
30 minutes later we are driving from the Pediatrician to Children’s Hospital urgent care for an X-ray. My son is pleased to see the doctor put him in this boot thing that looks like blue Birkenstocks. He nicknamed it the Jesus 2 like the way Adidas names their shoes.
Once in the waiting room there was a mom that completely forgot she had a 4-year-old and left him to his own devices. As she’s at the front desk, the little boy greets my 8-year-old and begins to pull all the table chairs out to form a sofa.
“Obviously he’s making a sectional.” I told my sons.
Then THE THING happened. Behind one of the 3 check in stands, a newborn baby began to wail……
This baby cried….and cried….and cried. Now before any trolls out there tell me the obvious: the baby very well could have been sick or in pain. I get that and I do hope the poor dear got the help she needed but the mother and/or nurses needed to shut that shit down asap. When my kids would cry uncontrollably, I would immediately remove them and myself from the situation. It was a beautiful day and she could have easily taken the baby outside.
It was now 7:45 p.m and we were on our way home without results. I had had 1 cheese stick on the way to the doctor so I wouldn’t eat my young or the nurses. I decided I wasn’t going to make it home before needing to feed again.
“Gentleman, we are stopping at Arby’s. What do you want?” I declared like a conquistador.
I turned into the parking lot just as I saw a truck racing to beat me to the drive thru.
“Ha….ha!” I cackled. “I’m totally beating you!” I said as I entered the wrong way and swung my car around to be in front.
“Mom, this is Wendy’s,” P said nonchalantly. He knew that any other tone would not have been wise.
“What? Oh my God! I’m such a disaster!”
They giggled as I pulled out of the line (a.k.a, tail between my legs) and drove next door to Arby’s.
“They got rid of the junior roast beef sandwiches,” P informed me as we waited.
“Come again?” I asked not understanding this statement.
“Yeah, last time grandpa took us they said they don’t have them anymore.”
I was quietly having a meltdown as this completely screwed up standard operating procedures. Normally, I take 3 junior roast beef sandwiches, take the meat out of one, discard that bun and add the beef to the other two. For variety, I add horsey sauce to one and bbq to the other. It’s practically a meat buffet.
“Can you please pull up to the curb while we make your fries hot and fresh?” The young girl asked as if she was about to present to me season two’s, first episode of Westworld. How can you say no?
After 3 minutes and 40 seconds, I was IRRATE. It’s almost 8 o’clock at night, I ordered 4 “snack” curly fries, 2 classic roast beef sandwiches, 2 lemonades and 2 Italian sliders and you would think I ordered a feast for a hamlet.
“That’s it!” I screamed. “Lock the doors. I’m going in.” I unbuckled in a huff, only to walk inside to be met by a young girl.
“Oh my God, I am so sorry. I feel so bad.”
I forced a smile, swiped the bag and walked back to my car. It was nearing 8 o’clock and I just WANTED TO GO HOME!
So the results? No fracture or broken bone. I’m pleased at this outcome but I must say this makes x-ray #5 where he was convinced something was broken and it turned out to be nothing. I don’t think he realizes this isn’t like going to the dollar store and getting an x-ray for a buck. This has easily been a $500 night. We have insurance but it doesn’t kick in till the ridiculous deductible (1st and 2nd born along with your pet) is met.