My immune system is so strong that if I licked the floor of a subway car then finished it off with a glass of toilet water, I’m quite confident I still wouldn’t get sick. Why? Because moms aren’t allowed to get sick. Ever. It’s like we’re missing that gene. Now, some of you ladies don’t have kids yet. But when you do, that “get sick” gene goes away forever. Enjoy sick days while you can for it’s a blessing and a curse.
I’m writing this post because my 11-year-old Carter, has been sick since Wednesday. My 14-year-old, Parker, has been sick since Friday night. We’ve had temperatures ranging from normal to 101.2. We’ve had chills and vomiting. As I type this, Carter is on the sofa with the trash can right next to him, in case he pukes. We did a teleconference with a doctor this evening and as anticipated (because this ain’t my first rodeo) we just need to wait this stupid bug out.
When Dad Gets Sick
THE WORLD STOPS. END OF STORY.
But seriously, let’s contrast mom and dad getting sick or what is more commonly known as the man cold. It’s not lost on me that my post: 10 Symptoms of the Man Cold is one of my most popular posts ever. Why? Because dad is allowed to get sick. He’s allowed to call off work and sleep all day. He’s allowed to spend hours watching tv, recuperating from this very serious ailment (aka a cough).
When Kids Get Sick
And the other thing is, kids don’t want to bother dad when they’re sick. They are the most stress-free patients around dad, wanting for nothing. Take tonight for example as Carter lay on the sofa, my husband asked twice if he needed anything.
“Nope, I’m good,” Carter’s responded.
At 9:30 this evening, I walked into the living room and asked if I could get Carter anything. Without missing a beat and channeling his inner Mariah Carey, he barked,
“MOM! I want a smoothie!”
I doubled over in laughter at this request. He had wanted nothing for the past hour that my husband was in the same room but when I walked in, he was suddenly craving a smoothie? And here’s the thing, as my child’s official sick bitch, I was prepared to make it. Unfortunately, we were completely out of smoothie berries.
Moms Aren’t Allowed to Get Sick
So yes, all current moms and future moms, ya’ll aren’t allowed to get sick. Not now, not ever. Feel nauseous? Drink ginger tea. Flu? Make sure to get your flu shot. Chills? Throw on another sweater. Lethargic? Put a frozen lasagna in the oven. Work? You used all your sick days for your sick kids. Go to work.
It’s a bitch ladies, but I get it.