Family · Health

An Assult on My Weight

As some of you may have read, I went to the doctor’s Monday where my doctor lovingly fooled me into believing I was pregnant. As part of the exam I had to get weighed in. I knew it was going to be bad, normally before the weigh-in I’m stripping off boots, chunky sweaters and anything I feel would add ounces. I’m not above pissing before my weight is taken but this time I’m like,

‘Fuck it, this is going to suck.’

With boots and all, I weighed in at 151! The only time I’ve been 151 pounds was when I was pregnant.

“151 pounds!” I yelled, “holy crap!”

The nurses and a doctor who were quietly discussing a chart in a corner, stopped and looked up at me.

For the past, I’d say 2 years, my philosophy with food has been more of a fuck it approach. I’ve indulged in every possible way. If I had a chicken sandwich, I’d layer on the mayo. My daily latte I made would be filled no less with 20 ounces of whole milk then enough vanilla flavoring I deemed appropriate. When we’d get pizza every week, I had no less than 3 slices then usually a piece later. And don’t get me started with the wine.

Weight Watchers

So now I joined weight watchers. I can’t continue down this weight gaining spiral. I’m allowed 23 points a day and something like 35-ish for the whole week. I love that many foods are 0 points and I found a terrific blogger online that has a beautiful print out, that’s free that lists all the 0 point foods. Go check her out!

I always laugh at the Weight Watcher ads because they look like they are having such a good time and not deprived of anything:

weight watchersI mean, look how happy these ass holes look. They’re tailgating and completely happy with their chicken breast, turkey burgers and salads. They want to live life to the fullest and their food is just an extension of this.

Then there’s real life. Yesterday on my drive home, I sat zombie like in my seat, in pain from the hunger. I was ravenous. For dinner, I cooked my family delicious, warm, mini cheeseburgers. Me? I placed a BOCA chicken patty (that I thought was a regular BOCA burger) on a multi-grain English muffin with 1 tsp. of mayonnaise. This was on par with eating a pumice stone.

Normally for my evening snack I’d line up at least 10 Pringles and eat them along side a glass of wine. For the past 3 nights I’ve curbed hunger with baby carrots. I’ve eaten so many f’ing baby carrots my skin is turning a strange tangerine color.

I will say it’s amazing how calories add up. For example, before this week I would drink about 3/4 vanilla coke each day. This equated to 112 calories a day/784 calories a week/ 3,136 calories a month. 3,500 calories = 1 pound. My doctor said I was gaining about a pound a month and now I see why.

Planet Fitness

When I do my initial assessment of activities for when I sign up for stuff, I can check mark, with 100% confidence, that I’m in the sedentary bucket. Between commuting and blogging, I have made every effort not to workout. I also have to go back to the Podiatrist as my foot is acting up again and that has hindered physical activity. That being said, I’m joining Planet Fitness! My 13-year-old and I checked it out today and it had everything we wanted and it’s only $22! And you always get to take a guest. You really can’t beat that. There’s free tanning that I’ll never use as it would interfere with my vampire tan, hydromassage and massage chairs. They’re open 24/7 for all the nights I’ll never go and they give you a free t-shirt I’ll never wear. But seriously it wasn’t slammed, it was clean and it’s affordable.

So I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m on a weight loss journey. It’s more like when you were a teen and forced to go to a family outing you didn’t want to go to. You’d sit in the backseat with your arms crossed, quietly pouting, refusing to look anywhere but outside the window of the car. Yeah, that’s me with weight loss. I’ll go because I have to but it doesn’t mean I’ll like it.

P.S. If you are on Weight Watchers let’s follow each other! My screen name is humorblogger.

Hot Mess is social! Click and follow!

21 thoughts on “An Assult on My Weight

  1. I gave up when I was 63. My Dr. would always comment on losing weight to bring blood pressure down. One day I’d had enough and told him his office scales were the cause of my increased BP because I knew what he’d be saying. I told him my Dad’s family was short and fat and my Mom’s family was tall and fat so my chances of being a size 10 were zero. He told me I had a point and my BP has been fine since.

    Good luck with your attempt to gain control of those extra pounds.

  2. Ooo good luck to getting to your goals!! I would kill to be 151 lol but I also think I’d look really weird if I was that small. I’m still working on my “drop 32 pounds and you can get another tattoo” bribe I made myself over the summer lol but that was more of a deterrent because I haven’t been that light since before high school I’d say. And I’m not really trying lol my thinking is that if I’m healthy and happy then life is good! Hopefully you get to your happy weight number! And as Jenny McCartney would always say in weight watchers commercials “you can eat a whole watermelon!!”

            1. Yeah, I would totally agree with that! We’ve been raised to worry about it more and unfortunately, pick on each other more. I want to live in that African tribe where the fatter you are, the more beautiful you are considered. And before your wedding day, instead of dropping weight, you are sent to a hut and fed to fatten you up.

  3. Numbers on scales are just that. My best friend and I are almost exactly the same body types: same height (5′ 2″), same measurements (even cup size), and same clothing sizes, but she wights 150+/- and I’m hovering around 165. Looking at me, you would never guess I weigh that much because I look ‘healthy’ (i.e. not obese), but I have muscle that significantly affects the number I see when I weigh myself.

    Good luck on with WW and going to the gym. I’ve fallen off the health kick wagon since the wedding. I’m trying to get back on but… pizza and doughnuts!

  4. Is weight-watchers the one Katie is doing too? Maybe you can keep each other giggling through the weight loss!?

    Although it sounds like we need to find you some tasty, healthy things to eat. You’ll be sad if you eat something that tastes like a pumice stone! 🙁

  5. I was just thinking that I need a new plan. Too many lattes and “Halloween” candy that is supposed to be seasonal and a treat but that we have been eating daily since like, September.
    So good for you for deciding on a change. It is amazing how those dang calories add up! My doctor told me he no longer bothers about weight—he just check if people are active and earting healthy. I mentioned my 3 latte a week habit and he gave me that look like, “better make it two.”

    1. LOL! Doctor’s have a way with words….or looks, don’t they? So I make my lattes at home and I used to use 2% and now I use skim along with measuring my vanilla flavoring (1 tbsp.) and that is 5 points. Do you make your own or Starbucks?

    1. Thanks Sheila! I am recording all my food and it’s eye opening how many points/calories stuff is. For example, I had a salad at BW3’s and used 1 oz of ranch dressing. That ranch dressing is 11 points! 11 points! I’m only allowed 23 points for the entire day!

      1. I was allowed 1200 calories a day, about 300 per meal plus small snacks. After a while, you will have trouble eating all the food you need, though. Try Ken’s Walnut Raspberry salad dressing. I love it.

    1. Yep, that’s been me for like the past 6 months so being weighed at the doctor’s was certainly eye opening! I can’t go off the ignorance is bliss idea anymore.

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