Ill Equipped to Assemble Ikea Furniture

Ikea cover

My title says it all. I’m on day 3 of attempting to put together my son’s new bed from Ikea together. Allow me to demonstrate my mindset and where I currently am in the process:

I’m on step 6 of 52 steps.

On day 1 I realized I had one of the sides attached but upside down, so I had to take it apart.

On day 2 I had the headboard and footboard assembled to the back side of the bed and a support bar installed. I was extremely pleased with myself until I realized this:

I just sat there, still in my dress from work, realizing that under no circumstances was I going to get out of taking the bed apart…..for the second time. For anyone that hasn’t had the pleasure of putting together Ikea furniture, it’s a lot like putting together Legos. There are 0 words and only pictures. If you miss that the holes are different on one side or another, you potentially risk doing what I did.

“DOWN TOWN! LA LA LA! DOWNTOWN!” I heard my 8 year old belting out as he’s skipping up the stairs. He comes into his brother’s room where I was attempting to put the bed together, looks at the bed, looks at me and immediately stops singing.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

I just giggle. A maniacal, small giggle. I’m in absolute disbelief I have to take the thing apart again.

“I put the footboard where the headboard should be. There is no way to fix it. I’m going to have to take it apart.” I sounded defeated. By now, my 12 year old had come in and heard the conversation.

“You just need to pay closer attention to the directions,” he informed me.

“Really? Is that what you think this is? I’m not paying attention to the directions?” I began to point at him with the hex key included in every piece of furniture sold by Ikea. “God forbid Ikea pays a little Bangledesh toddler 2 more cents to drill the exact same number of holes into 2 boards that look entirely the same! Sorry if I didn’t see the dots in this wonderfully illustrated, 50 page manual. That’s it, I’m done.”

I got up, walked downstairs and poured myself a glass of wine. I went through the mail, only to discover my 2018 Ikea catalog. And so the vicious circle continues…..



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