So as many of you know, I was dying for a Cricut. Like a drug addict, I’ve thought of nothing else then how to obtain a Cricut. Being a product that offers 0 discounts, I approached this as a challenge. I visited my Cricut Friday afternoon after my awesome boss let us leave early as she normally does Friday afternoon.
“So, what coupons are out there, that are good on a Cricut?” I asked the gentleman at the checkout stand. Suddenly, a girl with her head 2/3 shaven but left long on the right side, chimed in.
“All I’ve seen is a teachers discount and I don’t even know if that’s still valid.”
Ok, that’s easy. I know 10 million teachers. This is totally in the bag. Here is what I posted on Facebook and here are my combined responses:
Out of my 10,000 teacher friends, 1 responded and she is Fatty McCupcakes, another Blogger. Leave it to us Bloggers to whole heartily support each other. Thank you Fatty McCupcakes!
After I realized my “friends” weren’t going to support me, I began to text the following people:
- Soccer mom friend who is a principle: she had a Joann discount card at one point but gave it up after finding the coupons were better for her.
- Nanny: she didn’t have a card.
- My good friend whose mother was my 5th grade teacher: she wasn’t in the neighborhood, nor had a card.
Then I stooped to new lows. Knowing that a teacher license could produce 15% off, I had an idea. I began to Google the following:
- how to fake a teacher id
- Ohio teacher id image
- fake an id
Oh my God, what am I? 18? I eventually found a home schooling site where you could create your own ID. To this, I created the following:
Not bad, right? But I chickened out. I suddenly envisioned the chaste, Amish, of Joann’s stalling my Cricut transaction, waiting for the police to arrive to arrest me. As they take me away in handcuffs, I’m screaming, “I’ll see you in court! I’ll see you in court!”
Earlier in the day, I alerted my husband that this was to be my Mother’s day gift. All I asked for was money towards a Cricut as we never spend that much money on each other, nor should we. The sale was ending today at $250. Tomorrow it would go up to $270.
“Listen up compadre,” I said as I sat down in the living room. He was leveling up to 1,000,000 on candy crush or something.
“We need to accelerate the purchase of my Cricut for Mother’s day. It goes up by $20 tomorrow and I can’t afford that. Do you copy?”
He ignored me.
“Dude?! I need money for my stupid Cricut.”
“How about $75?” he said, not moving his gaze from his iPad.
“$100 and really good sex in the next 24 to 48 hours. But it can’t be tonight because I’m going to stay up all night and make stuff.”
“Done!” he said.
“I’m glad we could partner together in this venture.” I said as I stood up and walked into the kitchen triumphantly.
Here is my reaction when I used my Cricut for the first time and realized I screwed up somehow and suddenly I was cutting the cutting board. Enjoy!