Ikea Catalog Images…..With My Captions

As a reminder, I LOVE IKEA but after spending last night flipping through the catalog, I chuckled more and more as I saw the pictures. Some, well many are pretty ridiculous so it was my duty, nay, my obligation to add caption to them. A few are inappropriate so if you are easily offended, walk away now. I warned you.

Man cooking fish

Has anyone actually brought home a full size fish, cleaned it and ate it? If you have I want to know. My love of fish only extends to fish sticks and that’s pushing it!

ikea dinner table

Can I interest you in a game of dungeons and dragons pretty lady?

andy warhol

Baw-ha-ha…no darling….this is my Andy Warhol in a dress look! I’M INSANE!

Flamingo dancer

I’m going to need a minute for this one. What the fuck is she doing and why is in an Ikea catalog? I’ve never done drugs but if I did do them, my guess is that this woman would be involved?

Ikea cover

“Yeah, so I picked up this modeling gig after GTMO…..”

kid eating broccoli

Does this type of child exist? Don’t answer this if you have one, I hate you.

bunk beds

No, no and NO. At no point will I EVER put a bunk bed in the living room. This isn’t space camp.

2 kids at a table

When I saw this picture all I could think of was that quote from So I Married An Axe Murderer: “I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like sputnik.” If you haven’t seen it, PLEASE go rent it!

 

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