I Am An Empty Shell of a Woman Tonight

soccer practice

My title pretty much sums it up. I’m sitting at my table attempting to concentrate on this post while my sons talk NON STOP, NEVER STOPPING, MUST TALK ALL-THE-TIME.

I’ve presented this question in previous posts and it never gets old as I wonder it 24/7. How do children talk this much? Seriously, one of you must be a doctor and must have the answer to my question. It’s like the silence is uncomfortable to them.

So I haven’t posted in the past few days as my time has been sucked up with soccer, soccer and more soccer. Additionally, I’ve decided to take what is known as a “holiday” from my Ritalin in an effort to recalibrate the effects of it on my focus. In reality it’s making me seem more like a narcoleptic. All I want to do is sleep. I am like a senior citizen at this point, wanting to do dinner at 4 PM and be in bed by 7. I’ve vowed to go Friday, Saturday and Sunday without my medicine and this blows beyond belief. I don’t know if I will be doing this again anytime soon.

And before you read on, just know this…..well wait a minute….my oldest has just chimed in to tell me his Chuck Norris joke:

“Do you know that if the odds are 50/50 for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will always win?”


Anyway, what I was about to say before being interrupted for the 10th time is that this post has no rhyme or reason. This is what you get when I do not take my Ritalin and easily distracted by a shiny object. It has no plot and maybe not even an ending. This is just a post to tell you about my day and how I am an empty shell of a woman right now.

Today began at 6:30 am. My oldest had 2 soccer games in what felt to be 4 states away but in reality was 40 minutes away, on the other side of the city. And of coarse these games were conveniently spaced with about 5 hours between them.

‘Fuck it,’ I thought, ‘I’m getting Starbucks.’I decided this at 6:45 while everyone was still asleep. Since I was sans Ritalin, I needed all the stimulants I could get and starting today off with espresso was just the answer.


It has been unseasonably warm all week.

“Not today bitches…..” Mother Nature cackled from where ever Mother Natures resides.

I can’t even describe to you how f’ing cold it was. Since it wasn’t even 9 am yet, the morning dew was still thick in the air. My husband is obnoxious with what time he feels we need to arrive at soccer games so of coarse since we were to be there at 8:30, we rolled in at 7:57.

“Mommy, ohhhh…..they have the really cool playground. Can we go play?” My youngest asked excitedly.

There went my perfectly planned, warm, quiet time in the car. The field we were at resides in a suburb where the median household income is $114,000 (it’s around $53k, nationally). This field and the playground was tricked out and was screwing with my plan to blog before the game.

C went from the swings to this music making thing to the slides and back, all within about 10 minutes. I think squirrels are more focused. As I followed him around, I prayed that eventually he would realize we can no longer feel our faces, make the right decision and we would head into the car. This never happened.

So see, I told you this probably wouldn’t have an ending and I’m sorry. There really isn’t an ending because the rest of the day was just consumed with another soccer game, driving, feeding my sons their 10 meals they each require and now me not wanting to ring their necks while I attempt to type this. I was told by a ref today to “calm down” when one of the other punk ass players deliberately pushed one of our kids. I wanted to tell him to do his job right and I wouldn’t have to get flustered, but I just smiled sweetly and told him to shut the hell up in my head.



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