The Homeowners Association Has Pissed Me Off!

The homeowners association (or HOA) has pissed me, along with the majority of the neighbors off. Now, as a few of you recall, we had this sign posted in our neighborhood last year:

F*** the HOA

But now they’ve taken on a whole new level of petty. I couldn’t understand why 4 of my neighbors were congregating together on the sidewalk Saturday evening, each holding a piece of paper. Then it dawned on me that my youngest said we had a letter from the HOA. I told him to just leave it in the mailbox with the other 50 pieces of mail. Yes, we are those people who don’t religiously get our mail. It’s not like I’m going to have letters from loved ones and pen pals. It’s going to be bills with, oh a side of bills, and if you’re still hungry, we have more bills. So yeah, no thank you.

“Carter, go grab that HOA letter, please. I wanna read it.”

“YAASSS!” He said throwing his hand in the hair and bringing it down in a vertical fist pump. When Carter grows up, he absolutely should work for the FBI, CIA or be a detective. He is the most inquisitive, eavesdropping little boy you’ll ever meet. It’s not unusual while we’re waiting for the bus for him to go through my glove compartment, looking for things. But then again, I was like that growing up too. A golden rule to all children is to look on the highest shelf to find everything adults don’t want you to find. That’s how I found my grandfather’s dentures and my father’s gun.

I opened the letter to find this little ditty:

homeowners association“Oh hell no!” I said. I know it’s a bit blurry so let me outline it. We are being told we need our house numbers on both sides of the mailbox. We’ve lived here for 16 years and this has NEVER been a thing. We have it on the side facing the street for emergency vehicles and that’s sufficient.

“Get in the car!” I barked to Carter.

“Whhaattt?” He asked confused.

“Get in the car!” I repeated. “We’re gonna see how many houses have these numbers on both sides.”

As we drove around the 7 streets, I had my hand out the window pointing.Β “They don’t have numbers….they don’t have numbers….they don’t have numbers.”

Roughly I’d say 80% of my neighbors don’t have these numbers on both sides. We have 230 homes in our neighborhood. That means the HOA walked around and photographed 184 mailboxes, uploaded it to a computer and printed off in color then mailed it to all the houses. Are our pea size brains just too small to comprehend what they were talking about? Like, we wouldn’t have been able to figure out which mailbox they were referring to unless we had a colored picture and of both sides of the mailbox?

Then let’s talk about the creepy factor. This isn’t the first time our property has been photographed. They’ve taken pictures of our trash can because we keep it out. I’m not particularly fond of someone taking pictures of any aspect of my property without our permission.

So I have an idea bubbling in my head. I even gave the HOA a heads up on what I’ll be doing. They want numbers? I’ll give them numbers. Here’s what I posted a few days ago:

homeowners association

I got a quote for neon numbers but that was too much at about $275 so I’m going to craft my numbers and they are going to be obnoxious and amazing. Plan on a blog post with the finished product. Lastly, I had to be an ass hole last night on our HOA page when someone posted this:

missing cat

I posted this:

missing cat 2

 

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