At My Wits End- Making School Lunches

school lunches

If I have to make one more f’ing lunch, I’m going to lose my shit. No really. I have dutifully made lunches for my sons EVERY…SINGLE….DAY, since August. People, I can’t go on, I have nothing left. I don’t know why I’m writing about this, perhaps I just need your support and motivation to make it for the next 4 days.

School Lunches Be Like…..

school lunches

photo courtesy of thatsinappropriate.com

In the beginning, both of them bought their lunches about the same amount that I packed. When I would read off the school menu, I was like a QVC hostess, reading off the menu offerings, hoping to sell it to them. Now full disclosure, this was the school’s description, not mine. I just add attitude as I read off the food. This is a current menu item, I shit you not:

“Boys, you’re gonna love what they’re cookin’ tomorrow! You ready? I don’t think you can handle this. Ready? Ok. The main course is,” I paused for effect, “ocean treasures and a sassy side salad, pudding and fruit cocktail. Doesn’t that sound divine?”

On que and simultaneously, they both announced, “PACK!”

I looked at both of them as if they had performed the worst kind of betrayal possible on a mother.

When my oldest was in elementary, like I said, he’d buy as often as he packed but then he hit middle school and the lunches I guess are terrible. Like Orange is the New Black terrible. My husband volunteered once there and could vouch on how awful the food is.

Pizza day used to be a sacred day. That was the one day that both kids would want to buy and I would have an extra 10 minutes in the morning I wouldn’t be packing lunches. Now they don’t even buy on pizza day because I don’t know when pizza day is for the oldest and for the youngest, he “doesn’t like the pizza”. That’s blasphemy because I rarely meet a pizza I don’t like. And this pizza is from a national chain that’s absolutely delicious!

School Lunches When I Was Young

Perhaps I was deprived of home cooked meals. My mom hated cooking (as do I) so we would go out to eat almost every night. When she wanted to save a few bucks, we would simply go down to our family restaurant and grab a bite. But I used to love buying my lunches. I didn’t think the food was gross until I got to high school and friends told me to think the school lunches were gross. I then moved to the healthy choice of a bagel and frozen yogurt every single day until senior year. During senior year, we went out to lunch every day.

In elementary school the options were ridiculous but a good ridiculous. Shepard’s pie, chicken pot pie, spaghetti and meatballs, fully loaded subs. I mean it was a full course meal. I will say this, I was always jealous of the kids that were allergic to dairy and got to drink fruit punch at lunches instead of white or chocolate milk. I didn’t realize what a curse that would be later for them. I begged my mom to let me fake an allergy but she was never keen on the idea.

So you guys, this is just a whine fest but I welcome the summer where I don’t have to make lunches every day. For any parents out there, do you feel my pain? Are you counting the days so you don’t have to make school lunches? Lord knows I am!

Share the laughs with friends!

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