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7 Ways to be a Decent Human Being Texting

There is only 1 thing I miss from my iPhone and that’s the ability to see when someone is responding to my texts. A few of you know this but I went from a Samsung Note to an Apple phone and I couldn’t run back to Samsung Note fast enough. I was prepared to take the chance of it blowing up in my face until I learned they just shut the phones down overall. But yes, that is the only thing I miss. I know, sacrilegious to the 95% Apple users reading this and I’m sorry.

I kept forgetting to write this post until this past week when I received the following text from someone:


WTF? It inspired the list below of 7 ways to be a decent human being texting. Enjoy!

Don’t Send More Than 2 Texts at a Time

Sweet mother, this is my #1 pet peeve with texting. Do not send a text for every word. I understand that your mind may be moving faster than your fingers but think the text out before sending 6 of them. This is the reason I can’t have my ringer on at work. It would be nothing but, “DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING.” When I forget to turn my ringer off, I audibly announce, “Dear God, make it stop!”

Please Text Me Instead of Calling Me

I am the first one to admit I can have bouts of very anti-social tendencies, especially when it comes to the phone. That’s why when texting over calling became the norm, I fell hook, line and sinker. But alas, you still have people who feel, and I quote, “can’t conduct business over text”. Shit, I sometimes struggle with using the phone as an actual phone these days.

Triple Check Before You Send Those Racy Pictures

We once used to find a babysitter for our sons. We had 2 sitters in the running until one day, one sitter sent us a picture of herself with just her bra and underwear on. I didn’t know how to respond so all I put was,

“I don’t think this text was to go to me.”

And that was that. The other babysitter won by default.

Don’t Ignore My Texts

This pisses me off, especially when it’s a family member. I know you see it. I’m not expecting a response 5 minutes later but I am expecting a response within the calendar year.

Have Some Sort of Grammar Standards

When I get a text where it looks like a dog without paws typed it, I want to scream. I understand texting is an informal form of communication but that communication is null and void when you can’t understand a damn thing in the text.


Do not, under any circumstance, text me question marks. If I’m ignoring you, it’s for a reason. You sending me ??? is not going to make me suddenly think,

‘Drop everything! Karen wants a response.’

Trust me, I’ll now wait a hot minute to answer you.

Group Text

I know, I know, group texts are a necessary evil but honestly, I fucking hate these texts. You have to now go through every f’ing person’s response and it’s soul shattering. Instead of being the curmudgeon you want to be, your forced to be a bubbly bimbo in response:

  • What can we bring? 
  • I am sooooooo happy for you! 
  • We can’t wait to see your 1.2 million dollar home! Let me repair my thatched roof and we will totally be over for the tour! 
  • Is it wine-thirty yet? LOL! 

God, barf at all of the above. Really.

Well folks, I’m afraid it really is wine-thirty. I’ve got to figure out how to make this video of me reviewing a rap video with my son and truthfully, I just want to go to sleep! Good night!



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30 thoughts on “7 Ways to be a Decent Human Being Texting

  1. LOL. My old boss, who I’m now friends with sent me 12 texts last night. At that point an email or phone call needs to happen. I can’t do long text conversations.

  2. UGH! Group texts! Sometimes I’ll miss an entire conversation between my mom and sisters WHILE I’M AT WORK. I’ll check my phone and have like 60 unread texts. I don’t even try to catch up.

    1. Yeah, at that point theres no use. Group texts are good for a few things but mostly bad overall. When I’m in a group text and I’m at work, I think to myself, ‘what job do you have that you are allowed to text all day long? I want that job.’

  3. Look….how many times do I have to apologize for that picture? I truly meant for it to go to someone else… 😀

    And I’m partial to the Samsung, as well. I currently have the first iPhone I have ever owned and I miss my Samsung….

  4. A few things here, well done on ditching Apple, good move. If you want to text on Android and see the message use Whatsapp, most people use it these days.
    I hate it when people ignore my texts and then a few days later want me to reply to theirs in five minutes flat.
    As for the babysitter? Having teenage daughters myself be under no illusion – they’re all doing that. But yes, check before you send anything to anyone.
    Life’s complicated isn’t it?

    1. Whatsapp? I’ve never heard of that. Thank you for the tip! As for babysitters, God help any girl I find sending a photo like that to my sons. I will reenact what my father did once to my sister and show up on the girl’s door step with a baseball bat. The thought of that makes me cringe! And my oldest turns 13 next week. Gulp!

      1. Yeah it’s really useful, much better than plain texting.
        Fair enough, I get your thinking but all the girls seem to be doing it it seems.

  5. The last really big fight I got in with my best friend was over her choice to send out some really good news via group text. I was Not Amused. Yes, I was happy for her, but holy fuck my phone was blowing up for hours with people I didn’t know and now they all have my phone number. Not cool! And then there were the people who kept texting her for every little thing by replying to that group text for months after!

    Group texts are the work of the devil, and anyone who attempts to draw me into this evil will suffer my wrath. End of.

    1. LOL! Yeah, that would be really annoying. I have on occasion used group text and it has backfired royally. I used it to send a quick update and suddenly the receipients found it necessary to engage in further conversation. I don’t think so!

  6. Too funny. That babysitter story is hysterical. Sending half naked pics to anyone will always come back and haunt you in later life 😂

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