7 Ways to be a Decent Human Being Texting


There is only 1 thing I miss from my iPhone and that’s the ability to see when someone is responding to my texts. A few of you know this but I went from a Samsung Note to an Apple phone and I couldn’t run back to Samsung Note fast enough. I was prepared to take the chance of it blowing up in my face until I learned they just shut the phones down overall. But yes, that is the only thing I miss. I know, sacrilegious to the 95% Apple users reading this and I’m sorry.

I kept forgetting to write this post until this past week when I received the following text from someone:


WTF? It inspired the list below of 7 ways to be a decent human being texting. Enjoy!

Don’t Send More Than 2 Texts at a Time

Sweet mother, this is my #1 pet peeve with texting. Do not send a text for every word. I understand that your mind may be moving faster than your fingers but think the text out before sending 6 of them. This is the reason I can’t have my ringer on at work. It would be nothing but, “DING, DING, DING, DING, DING, DING.” When I forget to turn my ringer off, I audibly announce, “Dear God, make it stop!”

Please Text Me Instead of Calling Me

I am the first one to admit I can have bouts of very anti-social tendencies, especially when it comes to the phone. That’s why when texting over calling became the norm, I fell hook, line and sinker. But alas, you still have people who feel, and I quote, “can’t conduct business over text”. Shit, I sometimes struggle with using the phone as an actual phone these days.

Triple Check Before You Send Those Racy Pictures

We once used care.com to find a babysitter for our sons. We had 2 sitters in the running until one day, one sitter sent us a picture of herself with just her bra and underwear on. I didn’t know how to respond so all I put was,

“I don’t think this text was to go to me.”

And that was that. The other babysitter won by default.

Don’t Ignore My Texts

This pisses me off, especially when it’s a family member. I know you see it. I’m not expecting a response 5 minutes later but I am expecting a response within the calendar year.

Have Some Sort of Grammar Standards

When I get a text where it looks like a dog without paws typed it, I want to scream. I understand texting is an informal form of communication but that communication is null and void when you can’t understand a damn thing in the text.


Do not, under any circumstance, text me question marks. If I’m ignoring you, it’s for a reason. You sending me ??? is not going to make me suddenly think,

‘Drop everything! Karen wants a response.’

Trust me, I’ll now wait a hot minute to answer you.

Group Text

I know, I know, group texts are a necessary evil but honestly, I fucking hate these texts. You have to now go through every f’ing person’s response and it’s soul shattering. Instead of being the curmudgeon you want to be, your forced to be a bubbly bimbo in response:

  • What can we bring? 
  • I am sooooooo happy for you! 
  • We can’t wait to see your 1.2 million dollar home! Let me repair my thatched roof and we will totally be over for the tour! 
  • Is it wine-thirty yet? LOL! 

God, barf at all of the above. Really.

Well folks, I’m afraid it really is wine-thirty. I’ve got to figure out how to make this video of me reviewing a rap video with my son and truthfully, I just want to go to sleep! Good night!




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