This is the first of what I hope to be a weekly installment. It’s about as creative as cubicle as I absolutely love watching S*** Girls Say and S*** Black Girls Say on YouTube and love the 2 books, “Stuff White People Like” and “A Whiter Shade of Pale”. Really, the videos and books are breathtaking. Everyone of those men are talented and I don’t know if I would even come close to their talent. Here it goes.
Shit Women Like- Pinterest
Pinterest is what Cosmopolitan magazine was to women in the 90’s. If you’ve been living under a rock, Pinterest is a place you collect all the stuff that interests you on the internet. Pinterest is described as the “hopeful” social media site. It’s a place where you would create a board of vacation ideas. If you were getting married you might have a dress board, flower board and veil board.
Don’t even think about having a conversation with a woman without Pinterest being brought up. You better know your boards and you better be able to show 1 example of an over the top craft that you have not only pinned but have completed on your own. They will need proof of your craft or at least a ball park date of when you bragged about it on Facebook.
Children’s Birthday Parties
Once, not long ago, we’ll call it B.F. (Before Pinterest),you would go to some place like Party City and pick up little plastic bags, complete junk trinket toys and candy. You would divide up the toys and candy evenly into each plastic bag, tie a twistie tie to secure the loot and call it a day. Now your kids could be hauled off by social services if you don’t create obnoxious shit like this…….
Conversing With A Pinterest Addict
If you want to successfully converse with someone who doesn’t have a life outside of Pinterest, begin the conversation with the following sentence:
“I love Pinterest! I saw how to _____________ the other day.”
Gimme a break. But don’t get me wrong, I like Pinterest. It’s today’s version of ripping out magazine pages and storing them in a notebook. But when ass holes use Pinterest to get ideas that clearly weren’t there’s, I get annoyed. They parade them around as if they were their ideas. This makes me want to punch them in the throat. There bragging; that’s all it is. It’s like they are thinking…..
Look how little you care about your family. You didn’t make a 25-layer bean dip for the big football game. You didn’t put stupid little football cutouts of what kind of subs are being offered on the buffet table. There isn’t even any homemade potpourri to counter your pathetic 3-layer bean dip smell. What’s wrong with you? Where’s the personalized seat cards that can later be planted to grow a tree, on the sofa for each of your husband’s buddies? Why aren’t the beers wearing personalized sleeves you printed out on the printer that has adorable little sayings like I’M A BUCK NUT. If this is how you treat a football viewing, I can only imagine how you treat your Elf on the Shelf.