My oldest turns 12 next week. In January he went with his BFF to Kalahari Water Park to celebrate his birthday. Upon return, P exclaimed he didn’t want a party this year but an overnight at the water park for his birthday.
Eureka! No more designing the perfect invitation, securing the venue, buying the decorations, the cake, assembling swag bags! Like a bad job, this time has passed and it was smooth sailing going forward.
Then I looked at the rates and about fell off my chair.
‘$179,’ I thought would be the starting rate of rooms. I was confident it would be no more than $250 given we were going during spring break. Would you like to know how much 1 night costs at a water park in Sandusky, Ohio? Take a look…..
For $299.99, I expect the following amenities in my room:
- An honor bar
- A plush, terry cloth robe
- Luxury toiletries
- Lavazza coffee maker or French press
- 400+ thread sheets
- A pillow menu
- An umbrella in my closet
But I know, none of the above will be in this shit hole room. Having traveled for work and stayed in all sorts of hotels, there is nothing more that enrages me then paying an exorbitant amount of money for a room solely because of a gimmick or the location. The furniture usually comes from Plywood City and the hotel decorator’s primary job is to decorate nursing homes. The restaurant menu choices are always a $20 cheeseburger or $15 chicken fingers and the toiletries are Dial or Neutrogena. There is nothing wrong with Dial or Neutrogena but there is when hotels are cutting corners and I’ve been known to swipe toiletries like my mother-in-law swipes jellies at restaurants.
My mother-in-law tried to help out, saying her Uncle is retired and works as a bellman at Kallahari. As instructed, I called to inquire about the friends and family rate.
“Oh, those were only for the 1st, 7th and 9th of this month,” the unapologetic sales rep responded.
“Well do you have any sort of discount? Triple A? Government? Specials?”
“Not during peak times,” she said.
This place is turning out to be a real ass hole. This was about the same time my friend posts the following on Facebook:
Did Costco make this? I learned later that the original drink starts at $30! Are you kidding me? Granted it’s an 8 gallon drum of margarita but if I want to tap out after the first gallon, I shouldn’t waste the other 7. Obviously I’ll be bringing provisions.
How can anyone enjoy spending time at a place like that knowing they’re just throwing money down the drain? Yeesh. At least your son will have fun and get some great memories.
I agree and that’s what I have to keep telling myself!
Dang! Birthday parties are so expensive! Just trying to help plan the party of one of my kidlets was CRAZY.
2nd’s birthday is today. She wanted soccer. For an hour of play plus an hour of a room for cake and presents it was like $400! Then if you want a ref or coach extra, food extra, bubble soccer? Extra!
Yeah, it runs about $300 after everything but before presents. It’s not cool. As a kid we would have a sleepover and cake. Really, that was it.
Yeah I know! I remember my last birthday party: I was 10 and could invite ONE friend to go swimming for the afternoon. We got to order a pizza and rent a movie. No gift bags, no crazy trips or outings. Just a nice afternoon of swimming.