I am like a Goddamn gremlin. What is my problem? I should not have wine and Facebook after 11 as I have proven time and time again I can’t handle it. It’s like I have an alter ego and when I wake up the next morning, I need to check all forms of social media and undo what I have messed up. Thursday night was no different and boy is it a doozy.
I was trolling Facebook after maybe 4 glasses of wine when my feed had a casting call ad about a new Gordon Ramsay reality show that teaches families how to cook.
Sure! It would be a fun family event to learn how to cook by none other than Gordon Ramsay! Why I thought this was a good idea was beyond me considering I had written such eloquent posts like: Cooking To Me Is Like Cleaning The Toilet Part 1 or Cooking To Me Is Like Cleaning The Toilet Part 2. I know my husband thinks my cooking sucks even though I truly feel it’s not that bad. So I clicked on the ad and 20 minutes later, I had what I thought was a work of art, complete with pictures. The application asked for a story and I gave them 2 of my honest, epic fails in cooking:
My first attempt at a Quiche called for a pre-made crust. I used the first pre-made crust I found at the grocery store. When we bit into it, we soon discovered the crust I had chosen was indeed a graham cracker crust, pre-made for cheesecake and not Quiche. My second fail was choosing a chicken for Thanksgiving, truly thinking it was a turkey. I guess because it somehow resembled the body of a turkey, I grabbed it.*
*I see a theme now that I think about it, I’m clearly not paying attention in the grocery store.
So yesterday around lunch my phone rang. The screen said Beverly Hills, CA.
‘Beverly Hills?’ I thought. ‘Why is someone calling me from Beverly Hills….oh snap….’
I picked up my phone to listen to the following message (click to hear it):
OH MY GOD! I usually do shit like this just to see if they will bite. I never think I’ll get a call. Hell, I had forgotten all about it. I told my boss and co-workers the story.
“You have to call’em back!” They implored.
“Nah, I had a few to drink. I just did it out of boredom,” I said, slightly embarrassed.
“Yeah, but you could be famous! Your total all American family. No wonder they picked you. Call’em!” My boss said encouragingly.
Before I could even call, I received the following text:
‘Wow, they really wanted to talk,’ I thought.
I called Cara back and she was ridiculously nice. After what I guess you could call a screening, she announced she loved my story and would be passing my info along to the Producers.
So yeah, yours truly may be yelled at by Gordy himself. I very much doubt this will go anywhere as I can’t take 15 weeks off work. I’ll keep you guys updated but I thought it was pretty funny and wanted to share.