Family · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

How I Dance and What Is Reality

Have you ever wondered if you’re a really good dancer? I know, me too.

I have a theory that we dance based on the decade we were a teenager in. So for instance, I was a teenager in the 90’s so I aspired to dance like Janet Jackson in her IF video. And oh my God when Color Me Badd came on or Prince….just clear the floor.

I now dance “safe”. I tap my feet back and forth while snapping my fingers as if I were Dolly Parton singing Islands In The Stream. I added the link for the pups who have never heard the song. After 6 glasses of wine though, I take “dance like no one is watching” to a whole new level. Before I vomit on the dance floor, I am convinced that I am the sexiest dancer there. I don’t even want to know what that looks like. I once danced for my husband and the couple I forgot that came along with us to a bar. The song was Beverly Hills and I danced like there was a pole and I would have used that pole had one been there. My children will be so proud of me when they read my blog someday.

My sister is an ass hole about my dancing. I know my dancing isn’t great and I fully accept this but she has an inside joke with her boyfriend about my smooth dance moves. She will literally breakout into “my dance”, imitating me, stepping her feet back and forth, snapping her fingers. I don’t think I dance completely that way but again it comes down to our imagination and reality.

Now I have no reservations of getting out on the dance floor when songs such as the Macarena or the Electric Slide come on. I once went through the entire Macarena with another mom (who probably thinks she is an awesome dancer) in front of my 11 year old’s class. He just stood there in his grim reaper costume completely disgusted with me, willing my body to stop moving. When I start dancing the Macarena or the Electric Slide, for the first 3 minutes I’m usually running in to the people in front of me, behind me and on both sides. Eventually I get the hang of it, contingent upon the song playing before those six glasses of wine.

Several years ago, the video game Just Dance came out and I was in love. I could dance like Brittany or have sweet moves to Pitbull. The sky was the limit and I was prepared to test mine. I had visions of mastering ALL the dances. I was going to go to dance offs  because it was 1955 and that’s what a 30 something, mother of 2 does in her spare time, we go to dance offs. Though I despise movies where the characters break out into perfectly choreographed routines, I was prepared to go to the nearest club and if the situation presented itself, I was going to break out in my perfectly choreographed routine. I never made it through Flo’rida’s Good Feeling.

So come clean here folks, I did. How awesome is your dancing in your head and how close does it resemble a seizure happening?

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18 thoughts on “How I Dance and What Is Reality

  1. I laughed so hard cried at this post. Putting it out there in reality “just how good of a dancer are you!” Well, I did the same types of bustin’ move on in front of all my son’s friends. They were appalled the first few times I did it but after that they took my random funky dance as just another thing there mama “just does” and smile while escorting their friends away from my grooviness quickly. Now I’m convinced I dance OK but I also think I sing OK and then I listened to myself. Anymore I dance just to celebrate the moment. No music needed. Don’t it looks it feels wonderful. I can be seen getting groceries and a tune will pop in my head and cart is my dance partner! Lol now to that cart it just loves how I dance. Lol

    Thanks for the great post! Keep dancing!

    1. Ah Annette, so glad you liked this post. I mean, do we look as bad as our parents looked to us? We have to have a come to Jesus moment here. The funny thing is, my parents will have more street cred then I will ever have. My dad saw the Doors for God’s sake…the Doors! I just picture a high 20-something, dancing like a medicine doctor.

  2. Let’s just say that when my son was two and i danced he would start crying. Later, when he could talk he’d say, “Do anything but dance, mom.” Now, I’m of the opinion that if I shake my rear aggressively enough I may hypnotize others into thinking I have moves. I expect that everyone will agree with me on that. 🙂

  3. My husband laughs at my dancing and says I do the signature white girl moves of biting my lip and raising my hands in the air. I wanted to disagree, but in looking at dance floors all over the states, I have to admit, he is right, it is the signature move and I do it too. My response? “So? You don’t even dance.” How witty I am.

    1. So, so witty. my signature dance is simply tapping my feet left and right. See, all these people making fun of us have to realize that if we came out on the dance floor dancing like Britney Spears, we would look like spazzes.

  4. Oh, I love to dance! I was always first on the dance floor when I was younger and not much has changed to be honest. I absolutely dance like no-one is watching…but I kind of like it when everyone is watching!

  5. I am a rubbish dancer but that doesn’t stop me because it is sooo much fun!

    I also grew up in the 90s, and for some reason I can remember a lot of the dance moves from cheesy music like Steps and S Club 7! I don’t even listen to that kind of pop music at home, but if it starts to play at a wedding I’ll be all over it! *cringe*

      1. Wait, did america manage to avoid them in the 90s!? They are just really really cheesy bands with dance moves that we’d all copy. Have a look of you tube at “reach for the stars” it’s that kind of thing…

        1. When all I could find were lyrics on youtube it left me thinking it was Karaoke but knew better. I Googled it and oh my God, what in the world was that. No, I’d have to say that cheese never invaded America. I remember Janet Jackson, Nirvana, Madonna, New Kids on the block and Color Me Bad being popular. Ugh!

          1. You dodged a bullet there! Although… the cheese was pretty fun at teenage parties! We knew it was uncool and cheesy at the time, but that didn’t stop us dancing!

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