3 Subscriptions and the Hell to Cancel Them

Perhaps this is me just being cheap but there are 3 things that frustrate me beyond belief that not only is there a membership fee but the fee is WAY more than it should be. Feel free to disagree but here they are:

LinkedIn- Pay extra money to see which creepers are checking you out is what the tag line should be. Fortunately, there is a 14 day free trial but you must follow the following steps in order to cancel it in time:

  • Convey you want to cancel the membership 13.5 days ahead of time.
  • Convey said message in French.
  • Communication is only accepted via homing pigeon.

Ancestry.com- Have you see the prices on this? How are they still in business? For a cool $389 you can access ALL of the records. For $389 I better be able to research the Dead Sea Scrolls in the comfort of my own home. Monthly memberships range from $20-$45. How pissed would you be if you pay that every month, dump hours into it only for a cyber attack wipes the slate clean?  Again, there is a 14 day free trial but if…and only if the following parameters are completed:

  • You call ancestry.com on a landline with a phone from the 50’s that you dial each and every number….slowly.
  • It can only be cancelled during a waxing moon or if it’s a year the cicadas are back.
  • Your grandfather must release a homing pigeon.

Angie’s List- How the hell did this whole set up get started? Let me get this straight, people pay a monthly fee to get referrals that could have been obtained for free from family and friends? I understand making a buck but give me a break. Then do the contractors pay a fee too? Jesus Angie. I get you are savin’ up for a new tattoo- “faster faster” but let’s be real here. Fortunately you can cancel this membership after 14 days with the following stipulations.

  • Drive to their home office in Indianapolis, Indian to hand deliver your intention to cancel your membership. The handwritten note must be sealed with one of those red waxy things from the middle ages. You can pick one up at the Renaissance Festival….not that I know or anything. Oh and the actual note must be written with a feather pen…in cursive.
  • Adopt an illegal alien over the age of 25, name him Francis and his job will be to do any of the work Angie’s posse would have done.
  • Open up a go fund me account for the homing pigeon you plan on releasing to Angie to tell her you want to cancel your membership.


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