Craig’s List Missed Connections, Part 3

I’m really trying to wrap my brain around people who post the below on Craig’s List. If anything, it’s amazing to bring to you guys the screenshots and talk about them. I think the pandemic has gotten to people’s brains because this installment is taking on a whole new level of crazy. So sit back, grab your wine or beer and enjoy Craig’s List Missed Connections, Part 3

Lesbian Seeking a Man

Punch the Bulges

I had to read this twice and then to my husband to ensure I was reading something that someone actually posted. Who does this and why? If anything, he’s quite methodic in the post, don’t you think?

• Step 1. Sit in car and smoke cig.
• Step 2. Get in and randomly punch junk.
• Step 3. Puff.

Spare Panties

Ok, first of all, you’re not normal; let’s all understand that. As for maturity, does this guy envision a woman going back and forth in her head like,

‘Well, I don’t know. Should I send him my panties? I’ve never done anything like that before. Oh…wait….it says here that he’s mature. Well ok then (she says while pulling off her underwear), since he’s mature, this whole scenario should be fine, right?’

Hard Wood

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this dude probably isn’t talking about actual woodworking. I would love for someone to respond back to him with a request for a home project like building a fence or finishing the basement. The enjoyment would be listening to him delicately explain he isn’t a preferred handyman on Angie’s List.

Young Single Mom

So your requirements are serious, older, sane, stable and safe and you end your posting with “Hit My Pussy”? I’m sure you’ll find a God-fearing gentleman right away.

Daddy

Full disclosure, I’m really confused. What does she mean by “my little loves to color, snuggle and watch movies?” At first I thought she was talking about her kids but that can’t be right. Then in the next paragraph, she says she’s a sub and a little. What the hells a little? I’m totally Googling that right now. Ok, I’m back. Ewww….they act like a kid? Come on man….

In the same string of ridiculous Craig’s List posts, I found the next one. I’m feeling like a matchmaker right now. If Daddy needs a Dom and the Dom needs a submissive woman, um, I think this is an open and shut case.

Dom

Horny and Bored

I’m just throwing ideas out there. Has this person heard of masturbation? Is this person like a kid during the summer, completely unable to entertain themselves? And if they’re so bored, why don’t they respond to young single mom, a few posts up? These people.

Free Massage

Do any of these ass holes know how to spell or at the very least, spell check before posting? If you’re going to be a sicko, at least look like a sicko with a brain. You’ve got the Dom misspelling submissive in his post and now you have the masseuse, misspelling massage.  Then on top of it, this masseuse spells pics wrong and it looks like he wants to send you piss which, given the theme here this evening, probably isn’t off the table.

I just imagine this dude being a complete lunatic, in a secluded home, where he gives his massages. He doesn’t want sex, no! He just wants to massage you before chopping you into little tiny pieces. Maybe it’s like Silence of the Lambs where he is oiling your skin before he removes it from your body.

God I love posting these. It makes me laugh and I hope it makes you laugh too! Want more? Check out the first two installments here:

Craig’s List Missed Connections, Part 1

Craig’s List Missed Connections, Part 2