It’s Sunday and we’re home from an away soccer tournament in Cincinnati. We lost 2 out of the 3 games which wasn’t super but lots of notable events over the last 48 hours. Let’s get started!
Lady of the Flies
We checked in to Home2 Suites by Hilton at 3 PM. I had booked a one-bedroom suite and it was perfect except for one thing. There were flies all over the window! Like “do we call down and get another room” amount of flies. I had no idea where they came from but needed to get rid of them. I looked around the room for a magazine or something to swat at them when I had an idea.
“God will forgive me,” I said out loud.
I went into the bedroom, opened the top drawer and got the holy bible out. I walked over to the window and killed 15 flies in the first round. There were fly carcasses all over the window and bible. Some fell to the window ledge while others stuck to the back of the bible. In total, I think I killed 30 flies within a 24-hour span.
We got dressed for the pool. I never swim at hotels however I wanted to spend time with my 10-year-old. The heated pool was on par with an ice bath but I was determined to stick it out in an effort to hang out with him. Not to mention I was on day 4 of dry shampoo, specifically because I had planned to go swimming. Of course, after jumping in, he decides this was the one time he wasn’t really into swimming and would prefer to toss the ball with his dad.
After getting cleaned up, we went out with another family to a restaurant just 1.1 miles away. We were seated in this wide booth in front of a large window, overlooking Dilliard’s entrance. Just after ordering, a fast-moving object caught the corner of my eye. I looked up to see a police officer running too. Seconds later, the same officer walked back towards Dilliard’s with a twenty-something female in cuffs. This was dinner theater at it’s finest. And what did sticky hands steal? Baby clothes. Super smart move Karen.
Back at the hotel, we all congregated in the lobby for drinks. There was another group of parents across from us, pretty much doing the same thing. At 10 PM, the front desk curmudgeon announced it was quiet time and told us all to leave. When the other parents explained that they would not be leaving, she then announced she was going to call the police. Honestly, I don’t know where it went from there but the police never came. While I have sympathy for these front desk people, we are not the enemy. Normally, I turn on the charm and before you know it, we’re promising to stay in touch. I just didn’t have the energy for this one.
We lost both games, that’s all you need to know. We only have 1 substitute player due to multiple circumstances and it’s frustrating to look over at the opposing teams’ bench to see the entire population of California staring back. If their players are hurt or tired, no worries, just send in new ones. My son played every single minute of every game.
For dinner, we decided on pizza then we walked over to a massive indoor arcade, complete with putt-putt, laser tag, go-karts and my personal favorite, an escape room. I’ve never done one and have always wanted to try it. Plus, the escape room theme was a failing space station. Solve the clues within 30 minutes or run out of oxygen.
“Guys, I’ve totally got this. I went to Space Camp three times so we’re gonna be fine,” I announced with confidence.
We were not fine and we would have run out of oxygen. The escape room really shows how people handle a challenge with limited time and resources. Some gave up, some stayed calm and some got to work immediately and stayed busy till the end. After thirty minutes, the young girl who had escorted us in did not return. At thirty-five minutes, she was still MIA. At the thirty-eight minute, I opened the door and walked to the front desk. She had forgotten about us, busily ringing up new gamers. We didn’t do terrible but I would not pick any of us to ride along on the next Space X mission if you’re looking to survive.
Back at the hotel, the same f’ing curmudgeon took her spot to shit on our fun but the other team didn’t take chances. They had paid $50 and rented out a board room to party in. We retired early that night and as we walked to the elevator, there was a group of middle school girls in the hallway. They had formed a circle and passing off what seemed to be a talking stick. One girl got it and this is all we heard:
“Well I don’t appreciate being called a big fat liar.”
Is this how kids settle disagreements these days? It was like Mean Girls meets Lord of the Flies. Why they picked the middle of the hallway to resolve their issues was beyond me.
So that was my weekend. I’m now home and fighting off a bit of nausea. It started Friday and is just a pain in the ass…or stomach. How was your weekend? Lemme know in the comments!