So this evening, I wanted to put together a post about all the stupid shit people try to sell on Craig’s List. But no gentle reader, God doesn’t give us what we want, he gives us what we need. Just as I was about to begin the search for stupid stuff for sale, I spied with my little eye the following two words: MISSED CONNECTIONS.
‘What pray tell is this?’ I asked myself, excited about what was behind door #1. I clicked MISSED CONNECTIONS and God yes, it’s everything I wanted in a Craig’s List post, and then some. Posts are from people who haven’t utilized social media a day in their lives to find a “missed connection”. In reality, it’s just stalkers wanting to meet someone they saw. So throw away everything you know about grammar and punctuation and hop on the stalker train! Next stop? Restraining Orderville! TOOT! TOOT!
Gawd, really? He’s like you did 5 laps, jogging at approximately 9 MPH with an average heart rate of 145 BPM. This woman probably wouldn’t give this dude the time of day.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! CONTACT ME! Not with that tone of voice sir.
Who’s “we” and why do you care if this person sees this? What’s your end game here Martha?
Well, you’re obviously a stupid stalker. You wrote your address down wrong? What are you, in 3rd grade? Yeah, I’m sure this hot woman will be so glad to connect with you. And the fact that you know what vehicle she drives and left a note on it? I don’t think so buddy.
So dude, is this like a Craig’s List thing? You show up at a person’s house and the gal’s dude is ready to get freaky-deaky too? Thank you for clarifying the following:
- Discretion is optional
- That single = no drama
- That you are straight = no threesome with another male
Dude, first of all, please go back to English class. Second, never assume that someone is someone’s mom. How is that even relevant? So you looked at a stranger several times? Well that narrows it down to probably 400 people for the day.
More than likely, she will not see this.
Are you fuckin’ high? Where did this even come from? This is the MISSED CONNECTIONS page, not the INSPIRING QUOTES page.
“And children, that’s how I met your father……”
Who does this ass hole think he is? Tell me what color your underwear was? Showing your underwear and it was hot? You are a disgusting man and I pray to the sweet baby Jesus that if this scenario actually happened that this woman realizes what a sicko you are and avoids you at all cost. You are the reason I teach my sons that there are weirdos everywhere.
This one left me with my mouth open in disbelief for about 20 seconds. I had to read it twice because I was in denial someone actually wrote this. Wow!
And………
I love how half of these martyrs/stalkers are always like “I know you’ll probably never ready this”. Then why fucking post it? Anyway, what if she likes working there? And never judge a book by its cover, “you are a very nice decent girl”. For godsakes, I’m the poster child of never judge a book by it’s cover.
I liked the way your shoulders looked? Then the whole comment about being a Mormon (SMH). Now, the last thing I highlighted: We made love and you used that bun in an innovative way. I am so flippin’ confused with this comment. Did you guys have imaginary sex via a baconator? And you know what? Don’t ever….ever…ever bring chili into a sexual context. Chili is as sexy as dentures.
I told you guys this was a nugget. I cannot believe the shit people write. And this is just a teeny weeny slice of Craig’s List. I could check out all the comments on MISSED CONNECTIONS in L.A., NY, Miami, Chicago…….
LOL I can’t believe you just found the missed connections! I used to read them in the paper when I was an early teen (before non-dial up internet) and loved them! They were all creepy like these but in my 12 year old mind they were romantic. But also, this was before good internet.
Why did you black out some of the details? Were they really personal? Maybe one of those joggers reads your blog and could be finding their Ted Bundy right now!
Cause everyone needs to find their Ted Bundy! OMG! That’s hilarious! No, I just blacked them out to keep them private, I guess that’s someone ironic now that I look back on it considering these people posted it on a public site. Ok, total blonde moment there. But yeah, I’ve never heard of of these till last night. I had a field day!
Haha omg they are great! Regular post material for sure!
I’ve come to realize this! OMG!
I will neither confirm, nor deny that I have ever posted or answered a Missed Connection on Craigslist… ?
Oh Lord….and were you successful?
Thankfully, no! ??
“YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! CONTACT ME! Not with that tone of voice sir.” I was laughing so hard at this!! I shared this post with Fella and he mentioned that someone left him a message on one of these missed connections pages. He knew it was him because it was written for a waiter at a particular restaurant wearing a quilt and had a sexy accent. 1) Fella was the only male waitstaff member, and 2) the person who wrote the post was male. Between this post and Fella’s story, I was laughing my ass off!!
OH MY GOD THAT’S HILARIOUS! I’m so glad you thought that was funny! Yippie! Took a 2 week blogging break. I’m back now!
?i actually utilized that in my early 30’s. I think i wrote two, one was directed at an ex and another at a girl that worked at a CVS. The Ex and I reconnected but she was stuck in the past. CVS actually asked me in person if I ever used craigslist…she must’ve had a weirdo vibe from me. Needless to say, i never admitted to it and she eventually quit or transferred to another store after that.