Ok, I get that Walter White was a fictional character on Breaking Bad. For the 3% that hasn’t seen the show, Mr. White is a high school chemistry teacher down on his luck, diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. In an effort to ensure his family is financially secure after his passing, he begins to cook the purest crystal meth ever made. We are brought along on his journey into crime and how he keeps up appearances while cooking.
As I meticulously picked through my bagged salad Monday to throw out 40% because of wilted leaves (hey, I’m a little OCD about wrong colored leaves), I looked up at the television, and did a double-take. The suburb next to ours had a drug bust but it wasn’t just any drug bust…..
Not Your Typical Drug Bust
You see all those drugs up there? You may be thinking what car or home was this found in.
Are you ready for this?
IT WAS FOUND IN A LOCKER! I know you immediately think high school locker, but it gets better. This was the locker of a middle school kid! A child! I have sooo many questions, so let’s get started.
- Where did you pick up that drug scale? Do you find these on Ebay or something? I know the only scales you can get at Target are to measure your weight and I avoid those like the plague.
- When were you thinking you’d have an opportunity to take your scale out and actually use it? Chemistry class? Science?
- What adult (and I guess I can’t even assume it was an adult) sold you these drugs?
- I’ll give you that you’re an organized little ass hole with your carefully divided out pills and matching baggies. But, I hope your mamma wasn’t missing those 3 things of Tupperware. You can never have too much Tupperware. Am I right ladies?
- For the Tupperware at the bottom of the table, are those additional baggies of white powder or white trash bags? I can’t tell. If they’re trash bags, were you planning on burying a body in addition to bringing your pop up drug store to school?
- And while we’re on the topic, what incentive was there to haul the entire pharmacy to school? Did you think no one would notice? “La…de….dah….got my Algebra homework, my lunch box, pencils and oversized containers of weed. La…de…..dah. Normal day.”
I love that in the picture if you look to the far bottom right hand corner the usual contraband is a bottle of Jergens lotion or something. Who knows, it was probably a make shift flask.
People, I just don’t know what the world is comin’ to.