Don’t worry, it’s not yours.
I belong to a fantastic group on Facebook called Bad Women, courtesy of the wonderful, humor blogger Katie Pitts at Fatty McCupcakes. It’s a group where anything goes and there is 0 judgement. When I joined, I wanted to say,
“I’ve found home. I’m home.”
Anyway, one of the gals posted this abomination of an outfit, courtesy of Zulily.
Per Zulily, the model has the following measurements:
- Height: 5’9″
- Chest: 32″
- Waist: 24″
- Hips: 34″
That being said, she’s basically a tall teenager and can’t even rock this thing. When we discussed this at work today, I came to the following conclusion:
“I’d look sexier in a fuckin’ habit, then this thing!”
The Average Woman
What aggravates me more is you know some f’ing size 2, fashionista, that is horribly oblivious to normal world, thought that the common woman would gravitate to this drapery. Maybe for p.j’s; if you didn’t have a husband. Do you know that the average American woman is just over 5’3″ and weighs 168 pounds?
But the humor doesn’t come from this ridiculous rag. It comes from the comments posted about the rag. Below are some of my favorites. I even added the following eloquent comment this afternoon:
This is going to be my Halloween costume. I am going to put a balloon in each pocket and go as a 90-year-old’s scrotum.
Honestly, that’s the first thing that came to my head. Other people had far better responses. Below are my absolute favorites in response to what most are calling the Flying Squirrel outfit.
Were those not the best? I mean….sheer poetry. But I have a surprise. I fuckin’ bought one of these things! Not to wear seriously. I mean, I’m not deranged peoples. I bought it for a blog post and to do some hilarious photos. I think I’ll receive it next week so stay tuned! OMG, I’m so excited and I can’t wait!!!
P.S. I bought the ugliest color possible: mustard yellow. You’re welcome.