Pop Culture · S*** Women Like · Super Hot Mess

The Worst Outfit on Earth

Don’t worry, it’s not yours.

I belong to a fantastic group on Facebook called Bad Women, courtesy of the wonderful, humor blogger Katie Pitts at Fatty McCupcakes. It’s a group where anything goes and there is 0 judgement. When I joined, I wanted to say,

“I’ve found home. I’m home.”

Anyway, one of the gals posted this abomination of an outfit, courtesy of Zulily.

flying squirrelPer Zulily, the model has the following measurements:

  • Height: 5’9″
  • Chest: 32″
  • Waist: 24″
  • Hips: 34″

That being said, she’s basically a tall teenager and can’t even rock this thing. When we discussed this at work today, I came to the following conclusion:

“I’d look sexier in a fuckin’ habit, then this thing!”

The Average Woman

What aggravates me more is you know some f’ing size 2, fashionista, that is horribly oblivious to normal world, thought that the common woman would gravitate to this drapery. Maybe for p.j’s; if you didn’t have a husband. Do you know that the average American woman is just over 5’3″ and weighs 168 pounds?

But the humor doesn’t come from this ridiculous rag. It comes from the comments posted about the rag. Below are some of my favorites. I even added the following eloquent comment this afternoon:

This is going to be my Halloween costume. I am going to put a balloon in each pocket and go as a 90-year-old’s scrotum.

Honestly, that’s the first thing that came to my head. Other people had far better responses. Below are my absolute favorites in response to what most are calling the Flying Squirrel outfit.

comments 1

comments3 comments7

comments2 comments3 comments5 comments6


Were those not the best? I mean….sheer poetry. But I have a surprise. I fuckin’ bought one of these things! Not to wear seriously. I mean, I’m not deranged peoples. I bought it for a blog post and to do some hilarious photos. I think I’ll receive it next week so stay tuned! OMG, I’m so excited and I can’t wait!!!

P.S. I bought the ugliest color possible: mustard yellow. You’re welcome.


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14 thoughts on “The Worst Outfit on Earth

  1. I can not effing wait to see these photos. What would be even better is photos of both of us in matching outfits. Me at 6ft and you (much shorter). We could start our own show, maybe interview people as they walked down the red carpet. Oh the possibilities…..

    1. That made me laugh out loud as I read this!! Yes!! Please get one! How much is shipping to Germany? Zulily’s 2nd corporate office is here in Columbus so if my shipping was like$6, I cant imagine what yours would be. Could you see us in these things? Omg, I cant wait for mine to arrive!!

  2. Hahaha! I was tempted to get one too but I’m 5’3″ and the legs of it would be dragging 6 inches behind me. That’s before you even get to the whole general ew-ness of the thing! I’ve never been attracted to an outfit where you have to get naked to go to the toilet πŸ˜‚

    I admire your approach to this scientific experiment of fashion woes, and looking forward to the pics!

    1. Scientific experiment!?!? Lol! Yeah, I’m 5’6″ so I cannot wait to see how this thing drags on me. I also thought about wearing granny panties with this thing bc you know it’s that kind of fabric that will show everything! But also, that’s where I draw the line. This is going to be so fun!

  3. This is wonderful what a great post (better in a Habit) I needed the toilet I laughed so much.for the sake of science … nah I just can not buy one. 4ft 11inches and 140lbs I would so look a bugger. You on the other hand may look willowy and cool. I can not wait to see. πŸ˜πŸ˜‚

    1. Lol! I would never describe my body as willowy. More of a “had a baby 4 months ago but really haven’t had a baby in 9 years” type of body. I cant wait till mine comes in and I can post pics!

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