As I sit at my kitchen table this evening, I’m feeling nostalgic about all the things we’ve gone through on this blog, Facebook and Twitter. We’ve had some memories and I want you to know I treasure them. I am going camping tomorrow and need to say good bye just in case.
“Your not going camping!” My 12 year old P informed me.
“Well it’s not a hotel,” I countered.
“Yeah, but it’s not camping.”
In a last ditch effort as he walked away, I meekly yelled, “they’re gonna make me swim in a pond….”
“Your not swimming in a pond.” He retorted.
“I know.”
So yesterday I made out my list. I never want to impose on anyone and I want to be as comfortable as possible so here is my checklist:
Yes I’m taking a frother and yes I’m taking my espresso machine because the nearest town I’ve heard is 45 minutes away and even then I’m guessing the best latte will be from a gas station. That’s not a chance I’m willing to take.
The pocket knife?
To fend off bears plus many a horror story was in the sticks. Again, not taking chances.
And going back to what my son said, he’s right. I’m not camping. I’ve been invited to a cabin that has electricity, running water and I’m hoping AC. And I am grateful and honored! I hope to make new friends and I hope my inability to survive in the wilderness or really anything less than a Hampton Inn doesn’t offend them. As you know I have a severe phobia of snakes which will obviously dictate what I decide to do (drink) and not do (swim in pond). To say I fit into the country is on par with saying OJ should be back in society.
I’m still praying to the internet Gods to grant me wifi over the weekend so I can post. Regardless, I’ll be writing about the weekend as if I’m sending letters from camp. So if you don’t hear from me for a few days, I’m either off the grid, been killed by a bear or lost.
P.S. As I’m typing this, I get the following text from my friend who is already down there. I’m picturing 4 women, passed out by the drink, in the diaper aisle.
Well that’s a good sign for you! That your friend has signal at Walmart. At least, if you feel desperate enough, you can make a post from there.
You’ll be fine. Sounds like a great weekend ahead. 🙂
Thank you! Unfortunately that text was made in a Walmart about 45 away.
Have fun on your trip! Can’t wait for the blog posts that will follow haha
I know right?!?! Thank you!
We have similar thresholds for “camping.” But I notice you’re not taking any makeup? Hair gel, but no makeup? Gurl! You can throw that shit up in a bun, but the sun will still burn your face right off if you don’t have a protective layer of paint on!
…Oh, wait. There’s makeup, down at the bottom. Objection withdrawn, have a good time!
LOL! Thank you! And you know what? I probably didn’t even need to put make up on the list because I keep my make up in the car and do it on my drive to work. I know, completely sanitary! LOL!
That’s some skill, though. The most I’ve ever managed is lipstick, mascara, and concealer. Oh, and once—once!—I realized I’d totally spaced putting anything on my cheeks, and it was summer and outdoors and just no. So I conscripted a lipstick to dual-purpose for the day and smudged that in last-minute on the highway while my son prayed from the passenger seat. I still keep that lipstick in my purse, just in case I make that mistake again.
Yeah, I have a rule though: I only do it in stopped traffic or at the light. I’m not doing it going 70 mph. I hate make up these days and wish I didn’t have to wear it to avoid looking like death. You know?
People keep saying “oh, you don’t need to do makeup, just come out!” Then if I actually skip makeup? “Are you sick, hon? Tired? Do you need to go home?” No, this is what I look like. You asked for this!
Fantastic! Drunk in Walmart made me giggle so much. Your son has you sussed I think. Can’t wait for pics of pond dipping algae covered torso with newts in your hair… sorry I was a little carried away.
OMG Ellen, it made me giggle too when I read it. It was so typical and hilarious. Guess what? I never got in the pond. Had I gotten in and with my luck, I would have had algae in my suit and newts in my hair. That sounds like the title of a humor book: ALGAE IN MY SUIT AND NEWTS IN MY HAIR. LOL!!!!
So, you vacationed at a wooded lake house?
Pretty much….with a/c….with a generator….with wine. So it wasn’t camping so much…..
The thought of going ‘camping’ even in a place with electricity is terrifying to me. I am sitting in a Hampton Inn as I type this and this is as close to camping I ever want to be!
Amen sista! You are spot on! And even at Hampton Inn or a 2 star hotel leaves me feeling like Im roughing it. If you travel a lot, check out my sandwich trick post on how to score unbelievable rooms for $20 extra more in cash!
I know what you mean. Last time we were in a hotel it was a high end place and I feel like the Hampton Inn is a Motel 6 in comparison. I don’t travel much but I’ll still have to check out your post about upgrading rooms!
Oh yes! I scored a corner, 2 room suite in NYC once for just $20 more.