2 things to update you guys on…..
Gordy
If you haven’t heard yet, my family is interviewing to be on some sort of Gordon Ramsay cooking show. It seems vaguer the closer I get. You can read about it here: My Call From The Gordon Ramsay Show and Follow Up: My Interview To Be On The Gordon Ramsay Show.
A Skype interview has been booked for Monday. I don’t know about you but Skype and Face Time adds 20 years to the face. This weekend I am going to Google: How not to look like ass on Skype. If I find what seems to be useful tips, I may post them. It’s like Skype brings out chins you didn’t even know you had. Your eyes look like that of a heroin addict with shadows all around and suddenly your hair does not look as cute as you thought it did just a few minutes before. I’m also going to ring up my sister in law who works for a plastic surgeon and by the grace of God, they’ll will have residents in that need to practice administering Botox and I can get it for free.
Operation Tat
The prank is progressing nicely. I’m pranking my sons on April 1st and it’s going to be amazing! I ordered the tattoo. I asked for you guys to pick my tattoo and the winner is:
So yes, based on what you guys said, I ordered this tat courtesy of getinkbox.com. It’s a 2 week tattoo. Plans have been set into motion and there is no going back. One of my friends is posting on Facebook about getting a tattoo next Friday but only allowing a few of us to see. I will screenshot it and text it to my son with the caption”Oh Lord, N is getting a tat and wants me to come with her for support.”
I’ve decided the next morning I’ll wear pajamas that are low cut in the back. And I imagine the conversation to go like this:
“What’s that mom?”
I’ll shrug it off and say,”oh, on my back? Probably acne.”
“Mom, that’s not acne”.
I’ll look at them perplexed, go to the mirror and shout “oh my God, what the hell?” If I can keep a straight face, I’ll essentially flip out. I guess do what one would do if they woke up with an unexpected tattoo.
My friend just brought up a good point: how will I make the tattoo look red, like when you first get a tattoo. The first thought that came to my head and the only option I have is right before I come downstairs, I’ll probably slap that area several times, really hard. Like, I’ll really Gone Girl the shit out of that thing!
I hope you get on this show, I’m excited for you. Would be hilarious! (And great for your blog, too!)
I know, right!!!
Super awesome on both counts!! Have you tried to raise the laptop up a little higher than your face? Like you know how girls always hold their cell phones up SUPER high to get good selfies? Same idea, but with the webcam. A trick I learned from skype interviews, put googely eyes on either side of the camera lens, this way, you can look at those eyes and the person on the other side will feel like you are looking at them and talking – it’s much more natural