Let me preface this back to school post with my condolences to all parents out there that have to homeschool their kids. This isn’t to brag or throw this in your face. I’m simply overjoyed.
They Went Back to School!
As of about 12 days ago, my kids were going to start the year online. In Ohio, we have a color-code system to indicate how much the coronavirus has spread in each county. The lowest color is yellow, followed by orange, then red and the worst is purple. Though a few counties were on track for purple, none have actually achieved the worst color. And by the way, purple really is the worst color. It’s great if you’re a six-year-old girl but I digress. Anyway, for weeks now my county, along with the county I work in, have been red. If our county remained in red, my sons would start school online.
Twice-weekly, our governor holds a press conference. After doing the usual introductions, the Ohio county map came on, showing where we were at with the coronavirus. I did a double-take. Did my county really go down to orange? Tiny butterflies began to waltz in my stomach as I began to text every parent I knew just looking for answers. Clearly they were as clueless as me but maybe one of them had an “in” and knew if that meant the boys could go back to school.
The First Day
So yeah folks, they went back but it gets better. It’s like 2020 was like, “okay, okay, I know I’ve been a real ass hole so I have a surprise for you.”
Me: Oh goodie, goodie! What is it? Cancer? A tornado? No offense but you’re like a guy getting his new a vacuum for her birthday.
2020: No…this is good, you’ll love it! Ready?
Me: Yeah….I guess.
2020: The bus stops in front of your house this year. You don’t have to drive them to the bus stop.
Me: Shut the hell up, seriously?
2020: Take it now or I’ll set your house on fire.
Me: Yep, yep, yep! Thank you so much 2020. I can’t look a gift horror in the mouth.
2020: What did you say?