F*** this Pandemic!

pandemic

Fuck this pandemic. There, I said it. I was loving the no commute to work, no makeup and no doing my hair but legit, fuck this pandemic. I find myself more stressed at 5 p.m. than ever before.  For work, I sit on my Ikea desk chair from 8 am to 10 am. Then when Carter comes down for school time, I give him that chair and I use the shitty-ass flea market chair that I have yet to reupholster along with a pillow under my ass.

I’m Tired of Thinking

I’m tired of being mindful when I go out. I don’t want to have to use my coat sleeves to open a door. I don’t want to limit my touching of things. Since my grocery store doesn’t have anti-bacterial wipes, I bring one in to the store with me. I don’t want to worry that I didn’t get the entire cart then worry that I’m touching that part that I didn’t get. I’m tired of looking at folks with plastic gloves and being jealous. 20 years ago, I was jealous of a pair of stilettos or a handbag.

I Don’t Want to Wash My Hands Anymore

Full disclosure, when I went to the restroom at home, I never washed my hands. Sure, when you came over for dinner I would wash my hands but not when I’m alone. Now I fuckin’ wash my hands ALL THE TIME. In my car, I have a full bottle of anti-bacterial and when I get in my car I squirt a dollop of it on my hands. I then use my anti-bacterial wipes and wipe down my key-fab, cell phone and anything else my hands touched in public.

Snl Reaching GIF by Saturday Night LiveI Cringe at Most Shows Where They Aren’t Social Distancing

I watch tv to get away like everyone else. What makes me cringe now are commercials and shows made prior to March 2020 where people are having a love fest. No one is social distancing and it bugs me. I have to remind myself that life was different just 60 days ago. I’ll tell you this, I’m borderline wanting to have a hug-fest. I want to say “fuck everything” and invite everyone to my hug-fest. I really wasn’t a hugger growing up but as I learned how good a hug feels, I want to hug EVERYONE, especially now.

I Don’t Want to See One More Corona Virus Commercial

I AM SO SICK OF CORONA VIRUS COMMERCIALS! The commercials are usually in black and white and are photos of either nurses or moms teaching their kids. I’m sick and tired of it. I want stupid, mindless commercials again. Things like that, I call cotton candy for the brain and occasional cotton candy is so good for us. Great, congratulfuclations. I know that you know there is a pandemic happening. It’s like when in the beginning, every company from Nike to Auntie Anne’s Pretzels, sent out emails about how they were dealing with the pandemic. Thank God Auntie Anne’s tool the necessary precautions to safeguard my pretzel bites.

Words & Phrases That Should be Forbidden Starting in 2021

I never, ever, ever want to hear the following after this is all done:

  • Stay home
  • Social distancing
  • Quarantine
  • Wash your hands
  • Flatten the curve
  • New normal

These words have become so annoying to me, they are quickly gaining speed on other words I hate such as moist and panties.

So this post has no other goal than to allow me to vent. I’m venting and you gentle reader, get to read said vent. Are you over this world? Do you seriously want to throat punch someone or something? Maybe scream into a pillow? Just please make sure that pillow has been disinfected.

Share the laughs with friends!

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