I am so excited to bring you guys a second gift-giving guide for Father’s day! I even wrote a Father’s Day Gifts for Crappy Fathers last year, and the views went through the roof. Perhaps there are a lot of crappy fathers out there? Or maybe you guys needed some dumb Father’s day gifts. Regardless, I’m doing it again! Let’s get started.
I Love Socks
What better way to tell a crappy father he sucks by getting him socks. Better yet, it’s amazing that the socks say I love socks. And why spend anything more than $10 on the SOB when you can get these socks at Archie McPhee for just $8.95.
Is he a bald ass hole? Why not gift him tattoupees? For $6.99, he can have 35 faux tattoos to put on that bald, sweaty, shiny head of his. I think my favorite is the actual hair toupee and I would love to see someone rock it. Wouldn’t you? You can find these tattoupees at Off the Wagon Shop.
Pimple Popping Toy
Hands down, this is the worst gift I’ve ever seen. The little bit of hunger I had in my stomach is 100% gone as I just lost my appetite, looking at this. There are 6 holes and comes with refillable pimple puss that, I shit you not, can be reheated and used again. You can buy it on Amazon for $13.98. I think I’m going to throw up.
Uro Golf Club
This product leaves me shaking my head. Is this a problem on the golf course? You have to piss so bad and there aren’t any restrooms? So this is a urinal, disguised as a golf club. You clip on the included privacy towel, open the top and piss. It’s $24.95 and be purchased here.
Pickle of the Month Club
I swear to God people will make a subscription box out of anything. As I was searching for the worst gifts, I thought I’d throw a subscription box in the mix. What I found were several subscription boxes that have already flopped including:
- The Butt Box (yes, dedicated to anal fantasies)
- Can Pants (I guess pants for you??)
- The Crappie Box (a box full of crap)
If you ever have an idea for subscription boxes, let me save you the time and hassle. If it’s not clothing, food or dog treats, you don’t have a chance in hell. That being said, I found the Pickle Subscription Box. If you’re a millionaire yet want to bestow father a crappy gift you can. For a year subscription, pay just $47.75 a month or $573 annually to have pickled items delivered to your door.
God this is perfect. Just the right amount of snark and humor. We’ve all met man babies. Perhaps you have one as a father. Why not add to his wardrobe with an adult onesie? You can buy your man-baby-father this onesie for just $19.99 at Rankshops.com.
So for all of you that had less than stellar father’s, why not surprise dad with the perfect Father’s day gift? And this doesn’t have to be just for fathers. Any of these will work as a gift for your grandfather, father-in-law, deadbeat brother or loser brother-in-law.
P.S. Father’s Day is June 16th, 2019. Happy Father’s Day!