Family · Ridiculousness

Hot Mess’s 10 Steps for Preparing for Snowpocolypse

Winter Weather Advisory

With the exception of living in NYC for 3 months, I’ve lived in Ohio all my life. But still, at the age of 42, I’d being lieing if I didn’t say the first real snow storm of the season, doesn’t evoke a sense of “gotta get it done before” mentality.

Today, snowpocolypse was to begin at 7 a.m. (roughly 2 hours ago). As of now, I’d say we have 1″ (2.54 cm) on the ground but had I not prepared, we would have seen 12″ by now. That being said, here is what I did Thursday and Friday in preparation for snowpocolypse 2019.

Step 1

Send a text to my 2 sons Thursday warning them to take inventory of their winter gear and to let me know what they need so we can go buy it.

Step 2

Warn all co-workers to get what they needed Friday night for the upcoming snow storm. Apparently my computer and phone are the only ones with Google or capabilities to source the weather forecast.

Step 3

Go online in the afternoon to place a grocery order pick-up only to find that every other batshit crazy mother has already secured their spots. After searching grocery stores in a 10 mile radius, I find one that is available for pick-up between 7 and 8 pm Friday night.

Step 4

Send another text to my sons (I swear we live together, I just think of this shit while I’m working and have to textText to my sons about the snowpocolypse them before I forget) reminding them that it’s go time and if they don’t tell me what they need with regards to outer wear, we sure as shit aren’t going back out to get the stuff.

Step 5

Pick up a fresh box of wine in addition to the groceries. If I’m going to be in this house with my children for a solid 48 hours, obviously I’m going to need backup.

Step 6

Pick up groceries at Kroger. The one Kroger that still had pick-up available was shady to the say the least. In lieu of the grocery employees bringing out the groceries in a well-lit parking lot, I was met with signs that read “click list behind store”. After driving behind and being so dark I needed my brights on, I finally found it. Would they be loading groceries in my car or a dead body? Only time would tell.

Step 7

Brave the nightmare that is Walmart to get my son waterproof, warm gloves. After taking stock of what he had, somehow he thought football gloves would suffice as proper snow playing gloves. I don’t think so buddy.

Step 8

Discuss sledding options with my girls, N, N and A. A is out but the 2 N’s are in so we’ll see if there’s enough snow to take the boys sledding but not too much snow where it’s dangerous to drive.

Ducks in a pondStep 9

Take this picture of the beginning of snopocolypse and post on Instagram. Hashtag it #CaliforniaDreamin’ (because I am). By the way, if you aren’t following me, what are you waiting for? Follow me and I’ll follow you back!

Step 10

Write about snowpocolypse so generations to come can understand what we had to do to survive the hardships of it all. I mean after all, it was difficult finding the back of the grocery store to have 2 teens load up my car.

So how’s your weather where you are? Are you dealing with the same snow? Or perhaps you’ve already had a bad snow. Perhaps you live somewhere tropical in which I don’t care to hear your stupid story.

 

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7 thoughts on “Hot Mess’s 10 Steps for Preparing for Snowpocolypse

  1. The weather here is good! It was very cold yesterday but today it a little milder, 23 right now. There’s no snow on the ground, and we aren’t expecting any until Wednesday.

    My parents on the other hand, schools were closed Thursday and Friday. And like that school was even open when all main highways into town were closed by police so they must have gotten DUMPED on

    1. Yeah, totally sounds like your parents were dumped on. Do you guys have snow emergencies up there? We do and they range from 1 to 4. We are under a level 1 right now which basically means driving sucks.

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