An Updated Letter to ODOT

Updated letter to odot

My commute has set me off the deep end. The commute is the reason why I’ll be creating a commuter scream pillow this weekend. I ranted about this same thing 9 months ago and it has gotten worst, much worse. ODOT stands for Ohio Department of Transportation. Or it should stand for Only Delays or Traffic. This is what I would like to call my therapy letter. If I drink enough wine this evening, this letter will end up being delivered to them as well.

Dear ODOT,

What the actual fuck? Seriously, what the actual fuck? What are you doing aside from tearing up every single road I use, adding orange barrels and leaving it? If I were an astronaut looking down on the Earth, you know how I could spot Ohio immediately? The orange glow from all the stupid barrels. That’s how.

And now I hear you will be closing my exit for 3 weeks. How am I suppose to get to work? By jet pack? Perhaps I could be choppered in every single day. I’m estimating this closure will result in an additional 15 minutes each way which means an extra 2.5 hours more driving every week. Do you want to know what I feel like right now? This is exactly how I feel:

Falling Down

Michael Fucking Douglas in Falling Down, that’s how I feel. Minus the buzz cut and accountant look. And you don’t even want to know what’s crossed my mind to combat this. I’ve thought about driving on the paved areas you refuse to open, that have been sitting for weeks. I thought about going onto the construction area and do whatever I have to do to get these stupid roads fixed. Trust me, you don’t want the second option because I’ll just make a mess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ODOT signAnd now the traffic pattern changed last week and it has thrown me over the edge. Tell me, what the fuck is one to make of the following sign? It appears to be 3 lanes (used to be 4) then a little midget road that doesn’t have a beginning or ending? How did that happen? Where does the road start or end? In the ground? As you can see on the left of the picture, it’s just a long strip of empty paved road that no one can drive on.

And I just adore my daily commute, driving for miles on end next to concrete barriers? It’s really rather magical. Couple the concrete barriers with the trucks on the other side (on the right), with the spiky things on their hub caps and it makes you want to pan handle for an income.

I think the thing that pisses me off the most is if you go to areas of the city with a higher per household income, their roads are beautiful! 5 lanes across the interstate, the suburb name is written on the bridge above, no orange barrels. Funny how it happens that way. Meanwhile, I need the car pictured above, just to go on interstate 70 as the potholes are on par with Florida sink holes.

In closing, I’m over it ODOT. Get your shit together. This isn’t a 3rd world country so our roads shouldn’t be either.

Regards,

A Heated Hot Mess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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