Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

That’s Now How It Works Hollywood

I wrote this list just 3 months into my blogging. I received 0 likes and 0 comments. Now I just realize it’s because I had maybe 2 readers? Anyway, I’m doing exactly what they say not to do and have very similar content as search engines hate that. Well search engines, this post is so far buried under hundreds of other posts that you need to cut me some slack!

I believe that the majority of people who make commercials, television and movies, have 0 clue what life looks like for most of us. The only time I’ve seen middle class represented best was Roseanne which I’m absolutely loving. It’s surreal that I am now watching it with my kids, who also love it. Below is a list of the commercial clichés I’m talking about. Hollywood, you are so off.

The Average Man

Hollywood has this notion that the “average man” has a full on beard and wears a plaid shirt untucked, always. He’s usually bumbling around and has the IQ of a peach.

Commercial Mom

Mothers in commercials ALWAYS wear khakis and either a twin set or denim button down shirt. Now mind you, this is to clean the house or grocery shop. I wear an ill-fitted tank, dirty hair and bootie shorts to clean.

Carl’s Jr.

Hey, guess what? Women like to eat cheeseburgers too. I’d like to thank you for alienating every woman (except lesbians) in the U.S. with your slutty swimsuit model, blowing your cheeseburger. Tell you what? Get Scott Eastwood eating a cheeseburger while vacuuming my home and  I’ll consider eating at your establishment.

Lincoln commercial

My next car would be a Lincoln if they would just come out and say “You know what? We screwed up. We shouldn’t have let this hot mess of Matthew McConaughey go on for as long as it has. Aside from being the most uncomfortable commercials to air (with the exception of a Cialis commercial), we should have put a stop to this a long time ago.”

Liz Taylor

Like the Christmas Story, it wouldn’t be Christmas without the commercial of Liz Taylor taking off her earrings, throwing them on a card table and exclaiming, “these have always brought me luck”. The funny thing is that when the commercial was made, I think she was like 102 so they overexposed the video so she looked more like 60.

Viagra

I’ll be real here and admit I really don’t know what I’m expecting the Marketing team of Viagra to offer in the way of commercials. All I know is the commercial elicits a continuing eye roll for at least 20 seconds when watching the couples, who often times probably wouldn’t even need Viagra, get themselves aroused. They are fun and flirty, going to baseball games or a bed and breakfast. Which if we were being honest, any woman would be bored to tears for the first example and leaving the man crying for the second.

Incontinence Commercials

Oh my God, if I see 1 more incontinence commercial where women are dancing like no one is watching, I am going to throw up. Go ahead, look at the commercial here: Always Discreet so you too can throw up in your mouth. When I see these women dancing, I get the same feeling I get when I saw my mom dancing as a child. I want to scream “Oh my God, just stop. Stop dancing now.”

And that’s the list! What did I miss? I know there are a billion other commercials I had to have missed. Let me know!

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14 thoughts on “That’s Now How It Works Hollywood

  1. Great round up of commercials – love the sound of the Liz Taylor ad. I am always aghast at the amount of really detailed medical commercial on TV when I’m in the USA. Not really taken off in the UK – unless it’s a headache or a cold! Funny post. Jill

    1. Thank you! Oh especially the Cialis commercials. I mean, I have no idea how 2 people sitting in 2 bathtubs holding hands, in the middle of a field, has anything in the world to do with screwing. I just don’t get it!

  2. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an incontinence or viagra commercial! I don’t think I am missing out! I find the whole concept of advertising for drugs soooo strange.

    You know, I used to LOVE the crazy commercials in Japan. They make all our adverts in the UK look soo tame and boring! If you ever get bored, seach for weird Japanese tv commercials on you tube. You won’t be disappointed!

  3. To be fair, the “average” IQ is 100. The value of that 100 fluctuates over time because it’s meant to be the average. Given the average intelligence displayed by humanity these days, I’d rate a peach somewhere around 117. But you’re right, they don’t all wear flannel.

    1. Hmmm….interesting. I didn’t know that. I’d love to take an IQ test. Love to but probably dread the results. It would be like a 75. LOL!

      1. You’re above 100, I guarantee. Remember that guy in Making a Murderer? HE had an IQ of 85. (I remember because that was my single take-away from that program: IQ of 85 and he didn’t own underwear. It’s a combination of facts you never forget.) The nephew was in the 70’s—trust me, you’re smarter than the average human.

        Scary, innit?

        1. Oh my God, that just made me laugh out loud! Your take away was an IQ of 85 and no underwear? Love it! Absolutely love it!!! Thank you for the encouragement. Now I need to take an IQ test.

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