Let me preface this by saying I’m still on my diet. Wait, I’m going back on my diet, effective Sunday. I promise! But, I just inhaled 3 slices of Little Caesar’s pepperoni pizza in the back of my Corolla at soccer practice and it was magical! I made sure to park in the lot that no parents are parked in since I basically looked like Jabba the Hut eating. I’m not a pretty eater. I want the food in my mouth and I want it in my mouth yesterday!
That leads me to a question for you. Are you a no food-touching person? I was thinking about this on my way home from work today. I am. The gravy CANNOT run into the water produced by the corn or the potatoes cannot touch my salad. And don’t even get me started about foam plates that have the 5 divided areas. Those are the things wet dreams are made of.
I use to watch my grandfather eat and he would take a slice of bread and sop EVERYTHING up on the plate. My gag reflexes would kick in and honestly, it was a train wreck I couldn’t look away from.
“It’s all goin’ in the same place anyway,” he would say.
“So why stop there grandpa?” I would ask. “Why not just put butter on your salad or ketchup on your donut? It’s all going in the same place, right?”
I would then get a harsh talking to about respecting my elders and everyone eats different or as I like to refer to, wrong.
My Other Weird Food Thing
I don’t know where my hang-up with food came from. Maybe it’s from growing up in the restaurant business? It’s probably from watching my father pick the mold off the cheese and declare it now usable. Maybe it’s from making a pizza, going to grab green peppers and on more than one occasion, feeling slime. Since this is a judge free zone, I’m going to tell you my other food quirks. Do you have these? What are your quirks? Remember, no judging!
- I don’t use deli meat past 3 days. My husband could probably go a week which is absolutely disgusting.
- When I order Subway, I look away when they are scooping the meat onto the bun. Ignorance is bliss is my motto at these establishments.
- I’ve lightened up on milk. I used to NEVER use it past the expiration. Now I take a sniff and will use it up to 2 days after.
- I just started eating bananas and just started getting used to them. I can’t eat them while I’m driving as I need to inspect every part of the banana and throw out anything that looks just a little dark.
- I don’t EVER eat left overs. EVER! Left overs is the food of the devil. I will eat pizza the next day but it’s taken years to work up to that. When I save something for my husband and he doesn’t eat it and I throw it out a few days later, I’m borderline gagging.
- Never have I opted for a piece of fruit that was in a hotel common area, a gas station or any other establishment.
- I buy all my dry goods first then frozen then everything else. I can’t fathom having everything that is refrigerated not be refrigerated for that long. Then it’s a mad dash to get it in the fridge fast.
- Can’t stand fish. When I’m invited to try any kind of fish I simply lie and say I’m allergic. If I don’t, I hear things like “oh, you’d like salmon” or “it tastes just like steak”. No it doesn’t, it’s disgusting.
So yeah, those are a few of my food quirks. I don’t know how abnormal they are but I was thinking about them earlier and thought I’d share with you guys. Now, what are yours?
Hahaha. I too inhale pizza and I can only eat a banana if it’s accompanied by something crunchy – toast, Ryvita – otherwise it’s too mulch-y :O
So I’m not crazy! Bananas are strong and like wine, take some getting used to. I however got used to wine before I was 10. 🙂
Ha! I’m thinking you’ve got some Scottish ancestors!
My Ancestry DNA results I think resulted in like 1%? I know 8% British!
Growing up I had a lot of food issues. Nothing could touch, and I ate no meat at all. After some issues with food in my high school years I have worked really hard to move past them. Some of my food can touch now. I will try most things (not pork, beef, or lamb) and I have added several items to my diet that I previously would never eat. I am still a bit a a food freak, but much less so as I get older.
Yeah, I think that is how I am too. It just takes time. There are still meats I just can’t try yet and these include: lamb, deer, rabbit or really any other meat that doesn’t come from a cow or pig. Now, I could roll around in steak and bacon and I eat my steak almost raw. Weird right? Do you like bacon? Is bacon popular in Germany?
Bacon and pork of any kind is very popular here, Germans in general love meat. But, they love fresh veggies too, so I haven’t had a hard time finding foods to eat.
And that is where I must get my love of meat! LOL! I’m German. Thank God they love bacon! Everyone should love bacon. If I go to heaven and ask God what his favorite food is. He’d say bacon.
Lol
My Dad used to say if a banana was turning black that just meant it was ripe – yuk. Crunchy peanut butter and banana sandwiches are the best, but I have to be in the mood for banana.
Could not pass up replying to this post!
HM you have some interesting food quirks! Here are mine:
1) Under NO circumstances can I eat from a metal utensil that touches aluminum foil. Some folks will understand this.
2) Bananas must be eaten slightly greenish or at the very ripest NO brown spots. Any brown spots and the banana is way over ripe!
3) I LOVE black licorice jelly beans and taffy. I know I am so alone in liking black licorice … It’s just my ex-coworker, my dead mom, me, and the Dutch.
4) I cannot stand lamb or really any gamey meat for thst matter. Get that sh#t out of my mouth! And it stinks too. If you can’t smell it, your nose is broken.
5) Goat cheese. It lingers. It coats my mouth. It’s the gift that keeps sh#tting in my mouth. Here’s tbe caveat — apparently I can tolerate goat cheese that’s not too goaty; in other words, goat cheese from does (the female goats) who haven’t been around bucks much or at all being effected by those male pheromones.
6) I have to be very cautious when eating a big bowl of spaghetti or other wheat pasta — to do so puts me in a food coma. I will fall asleep within one 30 minutes of eating — dead asleep, only to wake up 1-2 hours later having bad insomnia that night.
7) Store bought protein shakes in those plastic bottles or other cute containers. Every time I’ve tried them I think they’re cloyinging sweet or I feel like I’m drinking hospital Ensure. Gag gag gag!
8) Egg white that is runny or not completely cooked through. All I see is buggary snot. Gagola!
9) Big Red soda. Very popular here in Texas — but this stuff is so nasty. Honestly, bubble gum flavored soda? Are we 5?
10) Red Bull. See #9. This must be the adult version of Big Red bit bitter and not bubble gummy.
11) I am unable to drink from etched glasses. Just touching the rough surface makes me shudder.
12) Plastic glasses from restaurants. All I can think of is ALL the lips that have touched these cups. I must use a straw. I prefer real glass. This also goes for plastic cups at people’s houses. C’mon I’m a guest … I’m not asking for your fine crystal, simply a real glass.
13) The mealiness of Red Delicious apples. Newsflash they are NOT delicious. That sawdust exploding texture in my mouth is cringe worthy. If I want mushy apple I’ll eat applesauce.
14) That dry texture on my teeth after eating freshly cooked or fresh spinach. I must drink milk or eat cheese immediately afterwards and then go brush my teeth. Some of you will understand this.
15) I cannot eat from any utensil that looks like it’s been in a go round from the garbage disposal. I’m not a princess or anything, but all those scrapes on the metal bother my sense of mouth feel. I like my utensils smooth.
16) Drinking from a giant glass made for Hercules at some restaurants. C’mon, when I need 3 hands to grab this bucket because your waitstaff can’t be bothered to refill my water glass you need to rethink your service model. And yes, I use a straw in this case because the gallon jug is most likely plastic anyway.
Are you worn out now from MY quirks!
Wow! Now those are some quirks. You need to copy this comment and paste it into a post! It’s really good! I used to hand wash the plastic glasses at my father’s restaurant and trust me, it’s a good idea you use a straw. Sometimes (often) they wouldn’t get clean and you could still see the lipstick on the glasses. Eww! I hate mealiness apples.Is it really red delicious? I thought all apples could get that way but I’ll stay away from red delicious if that’s the case! Goat cheese is hit or miss for me. Sometimes it’s a little too natural. Does that make sense? Probably along the lines of you feeling like it shit in your mouth. So true. As for etched glasses, I have some but the etching is not near my mouth. That would bug me. You know a new thing I discovered in California that I hate? Paper straws? It is so gross when it gets soggy. Apparently plastic straws will eventually be banned b/c they are littering the ocean??? I better start hoarding them now! Thank you for the long, thoughtful post! It was VERY interesting to read that I am not along! 😉
Ewww…..black? Did he eat it? I can’t even fathom that. Black to me equals past ripeness.
I hate fish too!! I’m getting better – if it doesn’t smell fishy I’m ok. I felt really bad because in Korea, I had a cold and my throat hurt so I sent one of my kids to buy ice cream for the class from Burger King which was in the building (there were 3 of us total so it wasn’t much $) and then one of my students took his snack money and bought me this fish stick thing and I said “oo it’s hot – I just had cold ice cream so I’ll wait for a little ok?” and he was ok with that but when he left for the day I gave it to another teacher. She was like “you should try it!” And I was like “no…I can’t eat fish” and then walked away haha
Yeah, I never want people to bug me to try fish. I don’t like it. When it comes to fish, the more processed the better. I can stomach a McDonalds fish sammie but let’s be real, it’s 90% breading with a few flakes of fish. And the fact that some people eat fish and have bones in their mouths? OMG! I’m so glad I found another person that hates fish as much as I do. I just don’t like it!
Yeah fish sticks are totally ok. Fish coates in batter and fried is good too hehe. Salmon is ok to a point but it has to be cooked. Not raw. And no bones please. No scales or skin. Definitely no face looking up at me.
Lol I am the opposite of you in most of this!
– I love having a teeny bit of everything in one bite. Food touching is great if the flavours go together!
– I adore fish! Seriously, pass me that sushi, sashimi, fish curry, battered, grilled, bbqed. Just pass it my way!
– I’d totally cut the mold off cheese then keep eating it (I’m with your dad on this!)
– I don’t mind spotty or blackened bananas
– I LOVE leftovers. Some foods taste even better the next day (like lasagna, curry etc.)
My quirks:
– I like to scrape *every* morsel out of every jar.
– I’m up for trying anything new (pigs ear and jelly fish salad – sure!)
– I let my cat lick my fingers after I eat peanut butter or marmite as he loves it sooo much!
Dear God Josy! Are you trying to make me puke? You’re like the opposite of my spirit animal when it comes to food. I do envy you though. I wish I enjoyed all of those things! I’d probably save a million dollars and eat a lot healthier. I used to let Chichi lick spoons and plates. I called her my prewash. Just tell me you wash your hands after she licks your fingers. Don’t cats lick their butts a lot? IDK, I haven’t had one in like 30 years.
Bwahahaha! yeah, I wash my hands after he licks my fingers. I’ve seen him lick his bottom!
Lol! Chichi was a big ass licker. Come to think about it, she was flippin’ disgusting!
1. Most vegatables literaly make me gag.
2. I burn microwave popcorn on purpose.
3. I let most icecream melt before I eat it.
Melty ice cream is the only way to go. There’s a reason the whole of human evolution was aimed at creating soft-serve and housing it in safe, temperature-controlled environments. NEVER be ashamed of your melty craving: those are puddles of pure flavor
The popcorn thing, though… You might be going to hell for that, especially if you do it when other people are around.
Mmmmm…..ice cream! Ear muffs but I like the buckeye ice cream and cookie dough.
#triggered
#IHeartIceCream
1. That sucks. Some make me gag like lima beans. 2. Why? 3. I can see why with ice cream. It’s a bitch when you can’t eat it b/c it’s too hard!
I, too, had a father that cut around the mold and ate it anyway. I could gag just thinking about it. But he was a child of The Depression, so I’ll cut him some slack. I will eat pretty much anything except for the foods I’m allergic to and liver. I HATE liver.
Nope, unless I’m legit dying of hunger, this girl will never eat liver. It’s liver! Not cake, not steak, it’s liver! That’s a deal breaker. What’s so funny is I find blue cheese perfectly acceptable on my salad or steak.
I cannot eat peanut butter and chocolate. I like peanut butter, I love chocolate, but I can’t stand the combination. Or the smell of the combination. I can’t eat chocolate if someone nearby is eating peanut butter, or vice versa. It makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve kicked actors out of my makeup chair for breathing reeces stank on me and Husband is not allowed to eat his vile PB&C concoctions unless he does so far from me and brushes his teeth immediately.
I can’t explain it.
You live in Michigan right? I can explain it. It’s because Ohio is known for buckeyes. The delicious little concoction of a peanut butter center and chocolate coating to resemble an actual buckeye. I love them so much! If I ever meet you, I promise not to impose any sort of buckeye breath on you!
I don’t use deli meat after three days, either. It has a slightly slimey feel, and that’s a no go!
Thank God! Someone that gets it about the deli meat. Another thing is the expiration on pre-packaged meat may be 2 months from now but my own expiration is 5 days. Fo’ sure!
It’s horrifying to imagine that anyone would keep it that long! I thought you were supposed to use it within a week of opening, but we only do 5 days, too, before the dog gets it.
Yeah and there’s nothing worse than finding lunch meat that’s like 2 months old. It’s making me feel gross just thinking about it now!
My hubby is like you with the no leftovers thing!
I don’t thing I really have food quirks! Though I can’t do.much seafood at all.
Oh yeah… coffee. Repels me!
Yeah! I found another of my peoples! It just doesn’t taste right to me. It’s not a snobby thing or a too good for it thing, I just don’t like it!
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I enjoyed reading this! 🙂 Nice!
I love fish! And veggies! I can live without meat. Well I love food and I almost eat anything served to me. A few quirks will include:
1. I prefer eating ice cream once it’s melted already.
2. I don’t like my food mixed up with each other on my plate so when I’m at home, I always use a section plate. When I dine out or anywhere, I make sure my food don’t get mixed up so I have several smaller plates or bowls for each dish.
3. I don’t drink soda/softdrinks anymore but before, I was a big Coke fan but I soak coffee beans on it for like half an hour before I drink it.
4. You can never make me it yoghurt.
5. I won’t eat sharing food without a serving spoon.
6. I don’t use restaurant eating utensils as much as I could, I always have with me a set of spoon, fork and chopsticks.
7. I can’t drink hot coffee but I don’t like iced, too. So what I do is, I make hot coffee and let it cool down until I can drink it easily already.
8. I can’t eat banana without peanut butter on the side.:)
Thank you for sharing your quirks! I can relate to some of these for sure! I’m jealous you can eat pretty much anything! Now what is this about soaking coffee beans on your coke? Does this equate to more caffeine? I’m intrigued! Regarding #6, if you bring your own utensils, have they ever accused you of stealing their utensils?
I just thought one day what if I soak coffee beans on my Coke? And then I did it and it tastes really good for me, that coffee flavor that comes with it. I never really checked it out in the internet but I will later. Haha! And no, I was never accused of stealing their utensils. 😀 😀 Thanks for sharing a great post again!
I am totally trying the coffee bean thing!
Yes and tell me what you think about it…?
I will!
When bananas start to get spots on the peel, it is past it’s prime in my opinion. I also reach into the middle of the bread loaf to get the “good bread”. This always reminds me of something George Carlin said on the same subject. “Let the family eat the bad bread.” I am also a stickler on expiration dates. I’m not drinking the outdated milk. The family can have that too.
Oh my God! I did that tonight when making the boys and my lunch for yesterday! LOL! I don’t think I even realized I do it till you said that. Hilarious! George Carlin is pretty damn funny!