My Anonymous Breakroom Notice

Breakroom Notice

Just 6 months ago, my company moved into a beautiful, expertly decorated office building. Though the commute is longer and blows beyond belief, the design could easily go up against that of Victoria Secret’s corporate office or Express. I can say this as I’ve either worked or had meetings in both.

The breakroom at work offers enough granite counter tops to make even the pickiest house hunter swoon. The windows are floor to ceiling, letting light pour in. One wall has a 60″ tv and there are several tables and chairs.

And yet, people leave messes everywhere and I don’t understand it. Even if the breakroom was a shit hole, you should clean up after yourself. It’s like they think a magical fairy will come along a few hours later and clean up after them.

Dear Coworkers,

It pains me to write and post this notice but I’m afraid it’s necessary. My assumption that we all share the same foundation with regards to cleaning and etiquette was clearly erroneous. For that, I apologize. In just the short 6 months we have occupied this wonderfully designed building, I’ve seen breakroom messes that would warm my little sloppy 9-year-old’s heart.

Because we learn by example, I would like to demonstrate why this notice is necessary.

Chapstick and Coffee

Though I’ve never had the urge to apply chapstick then drink coffee or vice versa, perhaps you have. We all have different grooming habits and I realize that but please make sure that not only do you throw your coffee away but you take your chapstick with you. Perhaps you were leaving it on the table for community use and though that is thoughtful we shouldn’t share chapsticks.

Coffee Pot

I am a huge fan of coffee too. If an IV drip of espresso was offered at Starbucks, I would be the first to order it on their mobile app. But alas, this isn’t Starbucks and we have to make our own coffee. This means you do not leave approximately 1 ounce of coffee at the bottom of the pot just so you don’t have to make a fresh one. This is on par with leaving 3 squares of toilet paper on the roll so you don’t have to change it.

Napkins on the Floor

I’m going to guess you were being very polite and placing your napkin on your lap, forgot it was there and got up. I don’t however understand when there are 4 used napkins on the floor by a chair, clearly dropped yet not disposed of. Now I completely understand if you are a diagnosed hoarder and trash is your life but here at work, you need to dispose of your trash.

Feet on the Table

Perhaps you don’t know this but I’ve read that it is rude in India to display the bottom of your shoes to others. It’s nice you feel so at home in the breakroom. You feel so at home that you put your feet on the very tables people break bread at with coworkers.

The Community Fridge

Like the feet on the table, I’m sure you feel comfortable enough to store your half drank Coke along with 4 meals you forgot you brought, in the fridge we must all share. It’s to the point there is barely any room. Take your stuff out, especially your Chipotle.

So that is the notice I would like to post, somewhere in the breakroom. Unfortunately, everything above is everything I’ve encountered. I just don’t understand why people can’t pick up their shit. It’s not hard.


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