Today’s post was literally wrote by a spammer/scammer. I copied and pasted the entire thing because it made me laugh so much. I’m weighing the safety options here but I’m thinking about responding for a little amusement. Below is the entire spam email. Mrs. Ruth Roberto really has a way with words. I’ve added my comments in red. Enjoy!
Dearest one in Christ Jesus how are you doing today? (I thought it was Jesus Christ? That would be like someone calling me Mess Hot)
however is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honour against your will. I am Mrs Ruth Roberto from United Kingdom .
I married to Mr.Roberto Thomas from Toronto Canada who worked with Canadian Embassy here in Cote d’Ivoire for nine years before he died in the year 2015.
Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. (Yes, that’s because it’s called kidnapping)
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $4.5 Million in a bank . (Damn! Who do I have to know to get hired by the Canadian Embassy?)
Recently, my DOCTOR told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem (cancer problem?). Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to an Orphanage or good Christian that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.
I want a Church organization or good person that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained.
l took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians not even good at all because they are the one that killed my husband in other to have all my late husband properties and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers (Really? This is your biggest beef with them? That they may give the money to non-believers? How about the fact that they murdered your husband?). I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way.
This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord (God has boobs?).Exodus 14 VS 14 says that “the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace”.
With God all things are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank . I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd.
My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants (why do you keep making random words upper case?) to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated here in.
Hoping to receive your response immediately.
Thanks and Remain blessed in the Lord.
Mrs Ruth Roberto