So I have decided to try the WordPress prompt of the day and it’s inheritance. So, seeing that I do not have a will yet, I have decided to use my blog as my last will and testament. Here it goes and mind you, I am not going to Google legal jargon. I’m just going to use words I think I’ve heard before that sounds all legally and stuff. Obviously I’m inventing new words at the same time.
As my last will and testament, I bequeath the following worldly possessions to dear family and friends:
My Bank Account
I bestow the $14.35 in my checking account to my husband. Please pace yourself with spending this. I figure you can buy 56 ramen noodle packets but I’ve never been the mathematician so figure it out. Also, can I borrow $10 so I have some cash on me for the afterlife?
My 3 Fedoras
Because my best friend always tells the tale of inviting me over for the first time and I wore an ungodly, huge fashion hat, I now bestow upon her my 3 fedoras: the summer fedora, the fall/winter fedora and the spring fedora. Please wear each one according to the season.
My Wine Glasses
To my dear sister, I give you my GANGSTA WRAPPER and BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES wine glasses. If there is any wine left in the box, you can have that too.
My Chihuahua
Please donate Chichi to the Smithsonian. She can be studied in great detail as to why she is 106 years old and still alive. This will also aid in the prevention of aging.
Gift Card to The Local Spa
The barista at the town coffee-house will inherit this in an effort to remove her vomit-inducing mole on her neck. It was like a base-mole with about 4 tiny midget moles hanging off of it. It’s like the mole had moles. God, now I’ve lost my appetite. If they can’t do anything for it at the spa or it has a heart beat, just cut it off or something.
My Vibrator
Please just bury it with me. The new, blue one and make sure there are new batteries in it. I’m gonna have a lot of time on my hands.
My 2003 Toyota Corolla
And to my loving sons, I give you my 2003 Toyota Corolla, complete with 269,000 miles on it. When you’re old enough to drive, you now can be embarrassed every time you have to roll your windows down and you are literally are rolling your windows down. It’s not just a figure of speech. You’re welcome.
I herby declare, by the power invested in me by the state of Ohio, I pronounce this my will this thirteenth day of December in the year of our Lord, two thousand eighteen.
Amen.
Love this!!!
Thank you hockey mom! From a soccer mom.
This is why I follow your blog lol popped up in my email, and I was like “Oh! What’s this? You can leave wills on blogs?” Haha
Lol! Probably not but I laughed my whole way through it! I know 0 about wills.
LOL!! Nice choice for the vibrator … I cringed for a second, thinking … who the hells gonna get that??? Haha
I’ve actually done this on my blog too … not for laughs, but because I know my partner will forget where the hard copy is 🙂
Lol!! Yeah, I would throw up in my mouth if someone “gifted” me a vibrator. I’d be like, “I’m good. Nothin, my index finger and middle finger can’t take care of!”
Hahaha … Exactly lol.
And you’ve actually just given Me an evil idea for a ‘recycled’ Christmas present for someone I don’t like 😉 Thanks 🙂
Oh sweet Jesus! What are you doing? I’m intrigued!
… an un-used (but out of the box) vibrator for the MIL 😉 hahaha
OH-MY-GOD!!! LOL!
Hahaha 😉
You do realize I feel left out, right?
I mean…really?! I couldn’t at least get something from the Groupons I know you used?
LOL!!! Ok….I hearby edit my will to include theacquiescentsoul to inherit my first unpublished book called Will Work for Deductible. Please have it published and make millions….or a few bucks.
????? You make me laugh!!!
Then I have done my job for the day!
Am I the only one who noticed you dated this two thousand eighteen? 😛
LOL! I told you I was going to make this “official” and not Google anything so terms don’t make sense. I legit screwed that up. So should it say twenty thousand eighteen? Wouldn’t that be 20,018 then? I though number wise two thousand eighteen would be 2018. Help me!
Lol its 2017!! Not 2018!!
Wow, I’m striking out from all sides! I guess I could say that dying isn’t the plan in 2017??
Hehe possibly!! But it wouldn’t be legal until after dec 13 2018 so make sure you dont die before then