This elf began smoking at 12. After a ridiculously long day in the sweat shop…..ahem…toy shop….he would steal away with several other elves behind the sleigh barn to have a smoke. After 2 decades of smoking Red Marlboro Mediums, he developed a cough that was deemed too disruptive to all the other elves and placed on Kringle medical leave.
Now he spends his days sitting on his elf sofa, smoking his little elf cigarettes and watching his elf tv. He thinks back on what life could have been like had he not accepted his first cigarette from Ming Ming. But Ming Ming was a leader and he looked up to Ming Ming. No one says no to Ming Ming.
So alas, I give you…….
LOL, funny. I’ve never understood the elf on a shelf stuff. It must have come along after my time. I feel so old.
Be thankful! Some @** hole was apparently bored and made my job around the holidays 20 times tougher.
Next year you can get him a little oxygen mask for his COPD.
Wouldn’t that be hilarious?!