I Feel Like The Damn Budha


I do, I really do. I read my spam comments just now and you would think I’m the Damn Budha or Suzi Orman. Makes me feel great and this makes up for the morning.

“But Hot Mess, what happened this morning?”

Glad I pretended you asked. So I put my makeup on in the car everyday on my way to work. Only when stuck in traffic or at a stop light. I also leave the makeup in the car, even when temperatures reach 90. I’m pretty confident I have created new bacteria and a colony of it probably lives on my face. I also attribute this to clearer skin as I am now immune to everything, including botulism.

One of my concealer sticks melted but still was usable. As I swipe my left eye, a huge chunk falls on my lap. I couldn’t find it and had visions of it wiggling down to my butt, attaching to it then when I get up, I look like I have a turd attached. I have yet to find that chunk. 3 minutes later I take a swig of coffee, I forgot I had made myself. I felt something wet on my tummy, look down and discover I had just spilled coffee all down my front. And it’s a dress I had made myself!

At this point I just laughed. It was a creepy laugh but still a laugh. Do I turn around? Do I run to Target and buy something? I decided to walk into work with coffee all down my front and blot it clean. This was an amazing plan considering the fabric is transparent after being wet. A fact I found out the hard way when a warehouse guy stared at me funny. I managed to not spill anything else on me for the day.

Spam Comments

And now I present you with my Earth shattering, inspiring comments that would make you think I was Maya Angelou or something.


Well, I will end this saying I am just over the moon for ending his/her 4 day long hunt. Obviously this person needed a funnel cake. For the second person, I am grateful that my day could inspire you to use such words as extremely enlightening. And lastly, I am so glad you have a clearer idea about the Dairy Queen funnel cake.

Bless you my children.



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