How I do Black Friday- Part 2

Black Friday Craziness

Ahhh, Black Friday, Black Friday, how do I love thee? Yes, I’m one of those crazies out there and yes, I am unapologetic about it.

“I can’t do the crowds….”

“I don’t like scavenging……”

“I don’t like shopping…..”

Are you an AMERI-CAN or an AMERI-CANT? Exactly!

So I left off in the preparation of Black Friday. What I forgot to mention is how I started my love affair with Black Friday. As a teen, my kid sister S and I would get up on BF at 5 a.m. 30 minutes later we would be off to the local mall. It would still be dark outside, 34 degrees and not even a mall cop patrolling. We would take our chilly, concrete seats (the only people for a solid hour) in front of Elder Beerman doors and God help the person that tried to ditch in front of me.

And what was our payoff in the early 90’s? Get ready for it. Are you sitting down? Drum roll please! A $10 gift certificate off of ANYTHING in the store! But why stop there? S and I would get our $10 at one door then hull ass to another door for 10 more dollars! One year we even triple dipped! The rest of the day was spent in the mall then a drive into Columbus for additional shopping and browsing at the mall we could never afford.

I’ll admit, I’ve lost a bit of my stamina and ambition for shopping. I think last year I spent the morning in front of the computer, cursing Target because it was crashing and all I needed were the F’ing, $99 Beats by Dre. I was finding that many of the deals in store were also on the online.

Last year I went to Toys R Us at midnight on Thanksgiving. When I got there, the entire parking lot was full, so was all of Bob Evans and Red Lobster parking lot. Additionally, there was a line wrapped all the way around the building.

“Fuck this….” I said as I turned back around. My sons would not be benefiting from the Skylander BOGO deal.

As much as I hate Walmart, the deals are ridiculous. Sure, I occasionally feel like I’m in a fight scene of Saving Private Ryan or Vikings but the video games are half off and you can get a tv for like a nickel. And I don’t even try to maneuver a cart in that hell hole on Black Friday. Thinking that is a good idea is on par with that parent who brings a wagon full of kid to an outdoor craft or street fair. You want to hit them for taking up WAAAYYY to much of the walkway. And what makes it worse? When the kid refuses to ride in the wagon and in fact, wants to pull it themselves.

So I think I have more to write about Black Friday but that is it for now. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Share the laughs with friends!

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