Understanding Health Insurance Is Like Donald Trump’s Hair-Confusing

Explanation Of Benefits

I just threw my new health insurance booklet across the room. Just hurled it. Our insurance is set to kick in 5 days from now. I keep telling my sons to attempt to NOT get hurt before November 1st but an x-ray and a concussion check later, they did not listen.

Like clockwork, I attempt to understand, I mean really understand, what’s paid for and what’s not. Then I see a shiny object and it’s all downhill from there. I could review this shit 30 minutes after taking my morning dose of ritalin for extreme concentration and I still wouldn’t get it. I mean, I get the very basic but like when I hear French and have to translate it in my head, it looks like I’m having an absensce seizure.

What I always found ironic is for years, birth control wasn’t paid for. In my mind it was a no brainer:

birth control + sex = no baby (aka no delivery costs)

no birth control + sex = baby (thousands of dollars to deliver baby)

Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful I have health insurance and affordable health insurance. I was paying $1,200 last year (yes a mortgage!). Starting next week, it will be less than half of that! Can you believe that? I guess I can believe it considering I worked for Lucifer a year ago. But we won’t dwell.

As for Obamacare, I did sign up about a year and a half ago. It wasn’t hard and at the time I had several choices. Being cocky, I chose a $20k deductible because “we never get sick”. 4 days after that choice I found a lump in my breast.

Health insurance is RIDICULOUS.  Here is what needs to happen: like an oil change or highlights, we need to abolish health insurance and pay as we go. Like the little card on your hotel door explaining the max that room should cost, you should never pay more than X for that particular health service. You know as well as I do that delivering a baby shouldn’t cost $15,000. If a doula can knock out services for $45 to deliver a baby in your home (which I would never advocate….epidural…epdidural…epidural all the way baby!) then do the math on everything else. Like airport food, things are marked up double even triple digits what it should cost.

Ok, I’m done with my rant. I have to take my youngest to school. Have a great day everyone! -Hot Mess

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