Thoughtless Gifts You Can Keep

My Gift

When someone gives me a thoughtless gift, it takes everything in me to be grateful and not be a complete ass hole. There are various forms of thoughtless gifts and I have outlined them below along with my experience with each one of them. I hope you don’t think I am too shallow here. This is a safe place of sharing and that is exactly what I’m doing. Don’t judge!

The Knock Off Gift – In the mid-nineties my boyfriend at the time asked what I wanted for my birthday. I made the request idiot proof and said “anything Vanilla Bean from Bath and Body Works. Do you need the address to the mall?”. I figured the girls at BBW would pounce on him the minute he obliviously walked over the threshold and all he had to say was “Vanilla Bean” and they would take it from there.

He screwed it up. On my birthday, I pulled the tissue paper out of the pink bag to reveal Vanilla Fields by Bath Sensations….from Big Lots. Being young I half grinned and thanked him for the gift, figuring out any way I could tell him he majorly screwed up.

The Gift You Didn’t Ask For – You ever have a gift exchange and part of the process is writing down 2-3 wants for Christmas only to receive what your shitty secret santa wanted to give you? It’s like the minute they had your list they balled it up and exclaimed, “this isn’t happening” and threw it in the trash. I mean, they give you something you wouldn’t even buy your enemy.

The Gift of Home Decor Despite Your Taste– I don’t know if it’s a control thing or an oblivious thing but why on Earth would you buy something for someone’s house when you don’t know an ounce of their taste? I once received a gargangeous clock with a rooster on it. I didn’t have a wall big enough for this stupid thing and what was worst, I had purchased a $25 Amazon gift card for my recipient BECAUSE THEY ASKED FOR IT.

The Waaayyyyy Under Budget Gift– This often happens in any of the above scenarios. Budget is set at $25 yet you receive Christmas ornaments, on Christmas. You can still see part of the orange tag showing that the gift was $5.99. First of all, don’t get a holiday gift on that holiday. Second, don’t be a cheap ass and get something because it was under your budget of $6 for the $25 budget agreed upon by all.  If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it, just be honest.

The Bridesmaid Gift– The few times I was a bridesmaid, I rarely got a gift that I loved. The worst gifts from the bride was when they announced their gift to you for dropping $400 on your bridesmaid dress you’ll never wear again would be the matching jewelry for said $400 dress. The jewelry, was purchased at Claire’s Boutique. Because there was a buy 1 get 1 free deal, she spent approximately $7.99 on each bridesmaid as a thank you.

The Beautifully Illustrated Kids Books That Have Won Awards– Oh my god this would piss me off like you would not believe. It was usually older relatives committing this offense. These books would usually be more like coffee table art books with painfully boring illustrations, too many pages and lastly a plot way too deep for a 2 year old. When I ask my sons to give me books to donate, they hand me titles like “The Swan and the Doe” or “The World Is An Art Canvas”. I am slowly pulling my hands down over my cheeks while my eyes roll to the back of my head as I think back on these horrible books.

Again, I’m sure I sound vein and ungrateful and maybe I am. If you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios, maybe rethink your gift giving strategy. Don’t say you can’t afford the $25 gift budget then run off and get a manicure for $40. That is all.



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