I’ve had this discussion with my best friend many, many times. How much time should you spend with your kid so they don’t become psychopaths? There isn’t a manual and it pisses me off. There’s “What To Expect When Expecting” but there isn’t a “How Not To Raise a Murderer”.
Selfishly, this question comes from guilt. Just when I sit down to do what I love most-blogging, my youngest will come in and ask if I would like to play a round of Monopoly.
“Yeah…ummm…sure. You wanna do the Monopoly Millionaire so it doesn’t take 3 hours?”
“No. I want to do the original one.”
“OK, but how about we do that speeding up thing where we shuffle the properties and divie them up before we start?”
“Nope. I want to start from the beginning.” He says as he crosses his arms.
‘God damn it. Of course you do.’ I think to myself.
I spent the next 2 hours doing everything I could to loose and I succeeded. He felt like the champ essentially making his mom live in a box on Park Place.
2 days ago my oldest, P, decided he too wanted to play Monopoly but at least the electronic version which only takes 2 hours. Again, I tried to loose yet the game ended in him throwing the dice across the room.
I want someone to hand me a chart that shows the level of success or failure with what you are doing with your kid. Like I really want it dumbed down for me. Books and magazines are way to vague for my black or white mentality. This is what I want:
Spend an hour a day with your child = President
Spend an hour a week with your child = Sprint Store Associate- at age 47
Spend 0 hours a day/week with your child= Featured on either on MSNBC Locked Up or COPS
So then basically, you know the outcome and can plan accordingly. But unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, does it?
Lastly, how many hours a week should your child see you on an electronic? I now have electronic guilt even if it’s checking the weather, reading a book, checking what the school lunch will be, looking at a recipe. I feel guilt because the kid doesn’t understand I’m not playing Candy Crush (which I will NEVER play; actually I don’t play any games online) but maybe doing something important.
So if any authors are out there currently working on this topic, I would appreciate you slide me that chart (laminated if possible) at your earliest convenience. I’m off to soccer practice to watch out future Presidents. 😉
So I have no children so I can’t really comment on things except from what I have seen as a teacher, specifically a kindergarten teacher since that is where I would want to spend the rest of my life if I was going back to teaching.
Children who spend time with their parents are more adjusted and balanced (obviously). Even at 4 years old, I have seen personalities in children that are WAY off, and after learning more about them it’s from their home life. It’s super sad. So in my non-parent role I say spend as much time as possible!
As for the electronics, again from kindergarten class, we teach the kids that electronics can be toys AND tools. Sometimes when we are using them in class they are to be tools – for research and learning. And other times we can have free time and they are seen as toys. I think if your kids see you using your electronics as tools they will understand that you are not just fooling around on them. A child seeing a parents reading an ebook is still seeing a parent reading and that it an amazing example for them to have. Or using your device to look up important things shows them that while you have the ability to use it for entertainment, you are making the choice to use it for something else.
Geez – that was a serious reply! I feel the need to watch youtube videos of hamsters eating broccolli now or something haha
Awesome response. However could you make a chart for me based on this info? Please put “President” on one end and “Psycho” on the other end. 😉
of course! when I am at home in Canada and have access to my personal laminater (YES I have one!) I will make one up and then send it to you 🙂 categories will also include “parents spend more time at Tim Hortons than with children” and also “grandparents tell stories of “no good son in law” trying to kill himself while going through a divorce” (how sad is it that those categories as actually true cases from when I volunteered in a kindergarten room?!)
Jesus! Thats terrible! Yes, a chart would be awesome. Pictures optional.
hehe I’ll work on it over the weekend 😛
This could be funny…
You need to have interests other than your kids, so don’t feel too guilty. Kids need to learn to entertain themselves part of the time. They can drain you. You need time to recharge. Set a time limit on games and whoever is ahead when time is up wins.
Very wise advice. The guilt is suffocating but you are right. The dissconnect is that children don’t understand the recharge/me time. I wonder if they take offense?
It is up to you to teach them. Kids whine regardless, but they will learn if you are consistent.
Hilarious. I want the same thing.
Once I get my laminated chart from gigglingfattie, I will have to share!