So How Much Time Should You Spend With Your Kid So They Don’t Become Psychopaths?

I’ve had this discussion with my best friend many, many times. How much time should you spend with your kid so they don’t become psychopaths? There isn’t a manual and it pisses me off. There’s “What To Expect When Expecting” but there isn’t a “How Not To Raise a Murderer”.

Selfishly, this question comes from guilt. Just when I sit down to do what I love most-blogging, my youngest will come in and ask if I would like to play a round of Monopoly.

“Yeah…ummm…sure. You wanna do the Monopoly Millionaire so it doesn’t take 3 hours?”

“No. I want to do the original one.”

“OK, but how about we do that speeding up thing where we shuffle the properties and divie them up before we start?”

“Nope. I want to start from the beginning.” He says as he crosses his arms.

‘God damn it. Of course you do.’ I think to myself.

I spent the next 2 hours doing everything I could to loose and I succeeded. He felt like the champ essentially making his mom live in a box on Park Place.

2 days ago my oldest, P, decided he too wanted to play Monopoly but at least the electronic version which only takes 2 hours. Again, I tried to loose yet the game ended in him throwing the dice across the room.

I want someone to hand me a chart that shows the level of success or failure with what you are doing with your kid. Like I really want it dumbed down for me. Books and magazines are way to vague for my black or white mentality. This is what I want:

Spend an hour a day with your child = President

Spend an hour a week with your child = Sprint Store Associate- at age 47

Spend 0 hours a day/week with your child= Featured on either on MSNBC Locked Up or COPS

So then basically, you know the outcome and can plan accordingly. But unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, does it?

Lastly, how many hours a week should your child see you on an electronic? I now have electronic guilt even if it’s checking the weather, reading a book, checking what the school lunch will be, looking at a recipe. I feel guilt because the kid doesn’t understand I’m not playing Candy Crush (which I will NEVER play; actually I don’t play any games online) but maybe doing something important.

So if any authors are out there currently working on this topic, I would appreciate you slide me that chart (laminated if possible) at your earliest convenience. I’m off to soccer practice to watch out future Presidents. 😉


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