So I have officially named my party that I am going to have in a few weeks to celebrate the quitting of my job. Drum roll please…..
I QUIT THIS BITCH PARTY
Yes I know, obnoxious, but like everything else I write about, this is me.
If this is the first time you are reading this blog or never saw some of the original posts, allow me to update you on my current situation. I am a stiletto wearing fashionista who, when facing a lumpectomy, 20k deductible and was at the 11th hour of unemployment, took a job as a boot buyer at a Southwest company. As someone that hasn’t road a horse in decades and despises country music, you can imagine my shock when I discovered cowboys (lots of them) still exist and the horse worship is on par with the cow in India. I fit in as well as Donald Trump working in a Mexican restaurant. The icing on the cake is, and we’ll reference one of my most favorite books, The Devil Wears Cowgirl Boots.
So, I was trolling Etsy last night looking for the perfect invitation. I decided that my party will be a cowboy/cowgirl theme. I found a cowgirl invite that I was considering till I realized there was a place for your portrait on the front and just seemed uber tacky. Many of the other invites were geared more towards kids with cartoon like cactus.
During my invitation browsing, I had an “ah-ha” moment that stopped me dead in my tracks. Normally ideas come to me in the shower and/or on the toilet but this one was so brilliant it broke all the rules…
I am going to rent a mechanical bull for the party and it’s going to be AMAZING!
How perfect is that going to be? I began to Google Mechanical bull rentals. The first one I came across was $975 for 3 hours and included an operator. After falling off my chair in shock, I seriously considered asking if the operator was necessary and if they could just rent it to me for $100. I’d make guests sign waivers and everyone wins. I didn’t want to buy the stupid thing, just rent it. The next party rental place wasn’t much better at $700. With just over $8 in my checking account till Wednesday, obviously we were going to have to find a value mechanical bull.
I went on Craigslist with the off chance someone would be looking to sell a mechanical bull for like $25. To my delight, there was a party rental place listing the rental of a mechanical bull. There wasn’t a price but there was an e-mail address. I sent the following e-mail:
I responded where I was but I haven’t heard back. I didn’t want to go into too much detail as to why I hated my job so much since being a purveyor of mechanical bulls leaves the possibility that they are in “the lifestyle” as well. I’m already shunned at work. I didn’t need to be shunned by the mechanical bull industry too.
I haven’t figured out the menu or decorations yet. I just know I want everyone to come dressed like cowboys and cowgirls. I’m even going to put a red bandana on Chi-Chi (that’s my 100 year old Chihuahua) and see if I can find a straw cowgirl hat for her.
So there it is! My main attraction for my party if I can find an affordable one. If you guys have any suggestions on my I Quit This Bitch Party, I am all ears! I need food ideas, decorations, drink recipes and maybe even a game or two.
P.S. I just received an email at 7:04 from the mechanical bull people. We are getting closer; their price is $650. Should I set up a Go Fund Me account or something to be able to afford the mechanical bull rental? Thoughts?